Scars of Tomorrow
by Zero27
Summary: Sango is a girl wishing for death and Miroku is a troubled man looking for what it is he's looking for in his life. Both have faced many trials and tribulations and are thrown together by fate, and unknowingly fall in love. AU MS IK pairing
1. Drowning in Air

> Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.  
  
Dialog "Meep meep meep."  
  
Thoughts _Meep meep meep, flashbacks, text within the story  
_  
Author's note This fic does contain quite a deal of profanity, some sexual situations, and then the whole issue of suicide. If you're old enough to read fan fics than I suppose I shouldn't put this warning up but there's always some idiot out there ready to report ya. Any way, I write around 8 pages per chapter and try to update at least once a week. As for the story, I hope you'll like it. If anyone has ever read Crimson Tears I believe they will enjoy this one much more. Also, before each chapter I'll be putting song lyrics and if you really like the song you can check out my webiste, just IM or email me for the web adress the link doesn't want to come up at the moment. The site doesn't have much on it yet, but it will have all the songs featured in the fic. The first one is already up. I hope you enjoy the story. I look forward to seeing your reactions.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Long Way To Fall,  
  
By Autopilot Off
> 
> Eyes Fixed and Dilated  
  
Stuck Staring out  
  
So jaded and frustrated  
  
Dragging you down  
  
You can only see so much when you're relying on your  
  
eyes  
  
There's an instinct inside everyone  
  
It's the engine and the drive  
  
It's a Long way to fall  
  
once you lose all those aspirations.  
  
It's a Long way to fall  
  
What I've got in my heart and my head  
  
I won't give it away because it's all that I am.  
  
So listless, indifferent, distant and cold.  
  
No feeling, no meaning.  
  
Stuck in a hole.  
  
Leave your ideals with your memories like they're  
  
something you've outgrown.  
  
And the days go by you're paralyzed and you slowly  
  
turn to stone.
> 
> _If you're reading this note now, than I have already killed myself. I apologize for my actions and I'm sure that you couldn't possibly understand, father...Kohaku. But listen to what I have to say in this note and maybe you'll forgive me, maybe. _
> 
> _ I never intended to hurt either of you, but I am my own person and live my life by the decisions I make for myself and by myself. They say that suicide is a coward's answer to life's problems, but I would disagree. It's right to put asleep an animal when it's suffering, so I can't understand what the difference would be if it were just people. That is to say, if I don't want to live, then why should I have to? I'm not insane and I'm not being childish. I'm nearly an adult now, and I'm old enough to know what my actions may cost myself as well as others. _
> 
> _ My reasons for this are simple. It may sound stupid and stereotypical to just say I'm lonely and seeking a way out of life, that is part of it, I suppose. Ever since mom died I could never forgive you for your negligence of Kohaku's needs and mine. How many nights do you think I've cried myself to sleep upon hearing you sob all night, pining for mother to come back. How lonely did you think I must have felt? _
> 
> _ You were never a bad father I don't think; I just didn't know how to be your daughter. I never knew what you wanted or what you expected of me. I always tried to be the best little girl I could. To prove to people that I was okay, that WE were okay. But we never were. Not completely at least. Or, I NEVER was. There's this hole in the pit of my heart that I've long tried to mend. You do it with burying yourself with work and avoiding home by going out on dates every chance you get, Kohaku by trying to act tough and well adjusted by going along with everything you say and do, when really he's a pampered scared little boy afraid of you leaving him, and me, well, I just stopped giving a damn. _
> 
> _ It seems pointless now to tell you the things I've done to close my wounds. Whether it be cutting classes, not eating for days on end, or just lying in my room tearing things up that remind me of things I hate. Some of those may come to a surprise to you. They shouldn't. I'm not as happy as I tried to pretend I am, nor as well adjusted. People are like that. We all hide behind our masks and shield all our pain and suffering away from others, so as not to shame ourselves. I guess killing myself should be the ultimate shaming but for me it doesn't feel that way. It feels like freedom, an escape. I know cowards escape from their problems, and I am a coward. _
> 
> _ While I realize it doesn't explain much I hope you'll understand my reasons for doing this. Knowing you, you probably won't, but I can't concern myself with that. It's your choice whether you ever forgive me or not...or whether I can ever truly forgive myself. Tell Kohaku not to forget me, as well as hate me. It would really tear up my heart to hear that he hates me after all this. Please understand, I'm going nowhere and I'm doing nothing. My life is a waste. I'm a waste. _
> 
> _So please, father, let me rest in peace for now on. I'll finally be able to be with mother. That woman you love so much will be there to help you heal. I realize I've left you a terrible burden and I apologize. _
> 
> _Good luck and good-bye. _
> 
> _I love you, _
> 
> _Moriyama Sango_
> 
> "It's been several hours since I wrote that damn suicide note, yet I haven't killed myself yet," she whispered. "How sad. How sad am I to not be able to go through with a simple suicide!?"
> 
> Sango's eyes seemed to glisten with an intense anger as she glared angrily down at her shaking hand. She could feel her palms sweating and her heart racing. "Why?" she cried. "Why can't I do it?" She clenched her fist tightly in her disgust and anguish. "I'm so pathetic."
> 
> The wind blew swiftly across the roof of the school building. Sango's figure sitting in the corner, her legs tucked into her chest and her head buried within her arms. Faint sounds of muffled cries could be heard as she contemplated her suicide and all that would be gained, as well as lost.
> 
> _Will it be worth it,_ she asked herself. _Or will it just be another mistake in the long list that is my life? I don't want to live with such regret. _
> 
> Thoughts of her unhappy childhood ran back to her, all the memories she had fought so desperately to forget. It was as they say, you forget what you want to forget. But now, now they all seemed to be rushing back to her as she readied herself for the ultimate undertaking.
> 
> Her mother's death, her father's grief and pathetic behavior, the scornful looks of her relatives, the job of taking care of her brother, and all the shame, ridicule, and pain that came with her responsibilities. Life for her was never anything pleasant and the words of her dying mother and hateful family lay heavy on her heart.
> 
> _"Sango," her mother whispered, "come here dear, there is something I need to tell you." _
> 
> _A small girl, only around the age of 9 approached the hospital bed. A pale fragile ghost of a woman was lying there, ready to face her death. "Yes mother," the girl managed to choke out. "What is it?" _
> 
> _"Come close," she rasped. _
> 
> _Sango did as she was told and stood right at her mother's bedside. Her hand reaching out to her mother's and held it tightly. "Momma," she whimpered._
> 
> _ Her mother squeezed back as hard as she could, giving her best support. "You have to be a strong girl now, Sango. Mommy won't be getting better. You're going to be the woman of the house now and take care of Kohaku and daddy while I'm gone."_
> 
> _ Tears flooded the young girl's cheek. In the depths of her mind she knew what was going on but wished not to accept it. "No, don't say such things. You'll get better, I know it."_
> 
> _ A tiny smile spread across the woman's thin lips. Her face was beginning to loose color and it seemed she would soon die. "You're momma's little girl, and you're very strong. I love you very much, and I want you to do whatever makes you happy in life."_
> 
> _ "Happy?" the girl questioned. "All that I need to be happy is YOU." _
> 
> _She shook her head. "No, it'll be alright, I promise. No matter what happens I'll be with you." _
> 
> _"Really?" she asked, her voice cracking.  
  
This time, no response came. She was dead. Her grip grew limp in Sango's hand and her soft breathing had ceased. She had passed on. At first, she could hardly believe it. She begged and pleaded for her mother to come back but nothing worked. No matter what she tried her expression remained the same, an eerie smile of a worn woman. Her hands trembled as she tried to shake her mother awake again but she wouldn't wake. _
> 
> _Sango soon began to cry, shaking her mother vigorously while doing so. "Momma," she called. "Momma!" It was over. _
> 
> _Eventually, a nurse came in and saw the condition of the poor woman, and her little girl. Her head was pressed against her chest, and she was sobbing uncontrollably, whispering, "come back, momma, come back. I still need you. Come back." _
> 
> _A deep pit of sorrow for the girl grew in the nurse's heart as she saw her whispering to the dead woman. She walked over and gently removed her from the tight grasp she had over her mother. As beset she could she led the little girl out of the room and back into the lounge. Her father was there, pacing around, worried. Her brother sat quietly with a sad expression on his face. He was only four but still had some understanding as to what was going on. _
> 
> _Other relatives were there as well, her aunt Sonoko, uncle Takadia, and cousins Lynn and Kazuya. They all seemed to wear the same tired weary expressions on their faces. As if to know this was the day she would die. It was an unsettling sight to behold such a worried emotional family. It always hurt the worse giving people such awful news. _
> 
> _She led Sango over to a chair next to her brother and went to talk to her father. She whispered something silently into his ear and the tears quickly began pouring out. He covered his hands over his face and sat down, sobbing. His body shook as the cries poured out of him. _
> 
> _The rest of the family seemed to get the idea by her father, Tetsuya's, reaction that a dear member of their family had died; yet the tears did not seem to spill out. Their expressions remained the same. Empty. _
> 
> _They seemed to be more mystified by Tatsuya's reaction than anything else. It was difficult to see such a man as strong as him break down and cry as he did. None of them really liked Sango's mother and found it difficult to even come and support Tetsuya. When they had married they were young and reckless and defied many of the families wishes for him. Sango's mother had no family, no one else to mourn her death. Sango and Kohaku were the last remnants of her family, the family she had created with Tetsuya, but now, for him, that seemed like a lost matter. _
> 
> _Kohaku watched in a confused state as his father cried, and Sango sitting next to him tried to hide her own tears and sniffles. "What's going on?" he pleaded. "Why is everyone so sad?" _
> 
> _"Mommy is dead," replied Sango, quietly._
> 
> _ "Dead?"_
> 
> _ She nodded, unable to speak._
> 
> _ "Will she ever come back?"_
> 
> _ "N-no."_
> 
> _ While Kohaku didn't understand fully he knew enough to know that his mother wasn't there now and could feel the sadness resonating from his father and sister. He too began to cry. Cry and sob just as much as Sango, till his eyes became red and puffy._
> 
> _ Sango's relatives on the other hand still had not felt too sympathetic towards Tetsuya's plight as well as that of the state of his children. _
> 
> _Sonoko whispered to her husband Takadia quietly, "See, he should have listened to us. Something bad like this was bound to happen."_
> 
> _ "Yes, I agree completely. It's a shame though, that Sango and Kohaku must suffer like this. It's not their fault their father chose a vulgar and impure woman like her for a wife."_
> 
> _ Arrogantly she nodded her head. "Indeed, such a shame. And even now Tetsuya disgraces himself like a little girl, in front of his poor children no doubt."_
> 
> _ "It's utterly disgusting," he spat. _
> 
> _"Truly."_
> 
> _ "What are you guys talking about?" Lynn interrupted._
> 
> _ "Nothing," replied Sonoko. "It's just really such a shame about this whole incident. Those children will probably be scarred for life now." _
> 
> _"That's what Tetsuya gets for defying the family's wishes," added in Kazuya. "If he had only listened to the elders none of this would have happened." _
> 
> _"Most definitely," agreed Takadia. "I can hardly stand to look at my poor pathetic brother, let alone his misfit children. I can see that blasted woman's eyes in Sango's, truly eerie." _
> 
> _"Hush," said Sonoko, as she noticed Sango's presence behind them. She turned to her and asked angrily, "What is it?" _
> 
> _Sango quivered as she tried to make the words come out. She couldn't say anything and ended up running away, down the hall, running as fast as her legs could carry her. She covered her ears and shook her head, thinking of all the spiteful and hateful things that had been said about her mother. She'd been there the whole time. She heard everything. And she wanted desperately to disappear and escape from the evils that she was forced to face._
> 
> It had been long past that episode and was eight years later. Sango was seventeen, a senior in high school and now ready to kill herself.
> 
> _It's funny how things work out,_ she thought. _The irony of my family's words. I guess, I am always what they thought me to be. Just no good, completely rotten. _
> 
> For most people it would be odd to say such a thing but ever since that incident with her mother Sango's alleged family hadn't been at all supportive. They derived more pleasure in making bets about how long her little dysfunctional family would actually hold up before breaking down.
> 
> It was her life's mission almost to prove her family wrong and really make something of herself. To prove what a good person she was, as well as her mother and father. Yet, it seemed fate had wanted to intervene and the task became more and more difficult as her father slowly slipped away from her and her brother had grown to be winy and spineless. As if to test her further her father began going out with all sorts of strange women that Sango never liked and always tried to be her mother and now had a steady girlfriend. One for which she feared that he may even marry.
> 
> Such an unpleasant thought truly frightened her. _But I guess it doesn't matter now. I'm going to die today and that's all there is to it. _
> 
> The memories that she had fought so hard to repress seemed to have left her once again, and she was able to stand up and get out of her fetal position she was in. Walking over to the ledge of the building she looked down from atop the roof.
> 
> She was a good ways up and the pavement below was sure to instantly kill her. It would be a most bloody way to die but effective nonetheless. She couldn't actually imagine cutting her wrists or hanging herself, poison didn't sound like a great idea either, so flinging herself off a building would do. She was only in high school and she already had the luxury of deciding how she would die. What a life.
> 
> She gulped and raised her head from the ground and looked up at the sky. It was hazy out and the sun didn't seem to want to shine that day. It was an ironic end for her. Her heart began to pound as she gripped the ledge of the building a little tighter, slowly preparing herself to just push herself over and that would be the end of it. Still, it was hard to imagine dying that way but life seemed to be giving her, in her mind, no other options. It was a stupid thought, but Sango hadn't realized it, not yet anyway and soon it would be too late. Drawing in what she believed to be her last breath she closed her eyes and tightened the grip she had on the ledge. _Good-bye father and good-bye Kohaku. I hope you live a good long life. Sorry that I won't be there to see it...and mother, I'm coming._
> 
> Keeping her eyes closed she pushed off the ledge ready to feel the sensation of plummeting towards the ground. At first, she could feel her body dipping over the edge but then something caught, and she could no longer feel herself moving. Her heart was still in knots and it was hard for her to make out what had happened. She only knew this: She wasn't falling and that something warm, and very strong, was holding her back.
> 
> The eyes she had shut so tightly before jumping were now open and she could see the ground just beneath her, and herself hanging just over the edge. She also noticed the strong pair of arms that had enveloped her and were the cause of her not falling.
> 
> "What the-"
> 
> She was suddenly cut off by a boy's voice whispering into her ear, "Dangerous hobby you've got here. If you're not careful you may hurt yourself."
> 
> Everything had happened so fast and she was barely able to comprehend the words coming from his mouth. "I..."
> 
> "I think that you're life is just a little too valuable to be thrown away like this."
> 
> Anger, that was what she immediately felt after hearing that statement. She jammed her elbow into his gut and walked a short distance away from him, irritated. "Who do you think you are? You had no right in doing that!"
> 
> The boy's face looked pretty pained after that blow that had connected right with his stomach, but he remained resilient in the fact that what he did was indeed not wrong. He smiled as he spoke; savoring what point he was trying to make, "For what, saving you? Most people are grateful when someone does something for them. You should be a little more gracious."
> 
> _Gracious? Gracious!_ The anger within her was begging to rise as her sincerest wishes could not be met and now the guy wanted a 'thank you'. "I didn't want your help. Couldn't you see that I wanted to die?"
> 
> Nodding slowly he said, "It doesn't matter what you think you want. What matters is, that you're alive and can still realize your mistakes."
> 
> "Maybe it wasn't a mistake for me!" she snapped angrily.
> 
> "I don't think I can believe that. A life holds so much more value than to be just thrown away. You won't ever come back, ever."
> 
> Sango's anger seemed to have dissipated but now a whole new wave of sadness over took her. "Maybe," she whispered, "I didn't ever want to come back."
> 
> His face saddened at the girl's confession. "Then I feel sorry for you. But you're not a lost cause."
> 
> "Aren't I?" she questioned. "Do you think you some how know me?"
> 
> "No...But I could." He reached out his hand to hers, intending for her to shake it. She didn't and his face downcast a little bit. "Fine. No handshake. My name is Sayama Miroku, it's a pleasure."
> 
> The mistrust in Sango's eyes hadn't disappeared but for whatever reason her voice defied what she believed to be her wishes and she answered him. "Moriyama Sango."
> 
> End of chapter
> 
> Sorry that the chapter was so short, but I wanted to leave it in an all right spot of the second. I plan on updating again fairly soon. I really am enjoying writing this fic already and want to update as much as possible. Well, I hope you enjoyed it and I'll be happily waiting for any reviews. Flames are allowed but please base it on something to go on and not just, "this sucks." Morons say that, and you are obviously not a moron...Hopefully. oh and also know that in the Japanese school system there are only eleven grades and not twelve, that's why Sango is a senior at 17, thank you. Lots of love to ya guys, and I should be seeing you soon hopefully.
> 
> Till then,
> 
> Adios.
> 
> Zero.


	2. Nowhere Kids

Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.  
  
Dialog "Meep meep meep."  
  
_Thoughts Are in italics._  
  
Author's note I was pleased with the reaction to the first chapter and am eager to write more and see what you guys think. Thanks everyone who reviewed the first chapter.  
  
You're Not Alone By Home Grown  
  
Just say goodbye.

And close the door.

Turn off the light.

And pick up the pieces if you need them.

This world is cold, but just know you're not alone.

No, you're not alone.

I know what you're thinkin'.

I know how you're feelin'.

Believe me you're not alone.

Just where you are and not quite so sure that I did the right thing.

Believe me.

And this world is so cold so I'll make sure you're not alone.

I know what you're thinkin.'

I know what you're feelin.'

Believe me you're not alone, no.

Why don't you stay with me tonight.

Because I know everything is not alright, and that's not alright.

I know what you're thinkin.'

I know what you're feelin.'

Believe me you're not alone.

No, you're not alone.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Sango could feel her eyes staring intently over at Miroku and much against her will she noticed several distinguishing features. The first being, that he looked much older and more mature than the other boys at her school. He was tall, had a very strong frame, and almost an older wiser looking face. If she hadn't known better she could have easily mistaken him as someone being just around their early twenties.  
  
His grooming was another matter. He didn't have the same short clean-cut look most boys his supposed age had. His hair was grown out more, around medium length, and tied back in a short ponytail and his long black bangs nearly covered his eyes.  
  
_He looks like a troublemaker,_ she thought. She easily noticed the absence of the customary way of wearing the school uniform. His pants were severely sagged, shoes a pair of scoffed up sneakers, and a black overcoat, possibly leather, covered his school jacket.  
  
Though his look seemed threatening and possibly a little fierce it became a more welcoming sensation for Sango. She saw him as someone more out of the box, not so inclined to also do what he was told but within reasonable limits. She liked it, and it had intrigued her. Inside she could feel a hidden depth within him that she couldn't explain but desperately wanted to know. She stayed quiet and continued staring, not being able to help herself.  
  
Miroku was staring back as well and couldn't help but noticed Sango had a lot going for her in the looks department. She was fairly tall, slender, had long gorgeous dark brown, nearly black hair, and warm inviting brown eyes, it reminded him of the eyes found commonly on stuffed animals. They seemed liked kind trustworthy eyes but sad at the same time. It troubled him.  
  
_It's a shame, really. Such a beautiful girl like this even can consider wanting to kill herself. Damn.  
_  
There was a lasting mutual silence between the two estranged teens as they had studied each other quietly for the last few minutes, neither of them breaking the silence there had been.  
  
That was until; Miroku pulled out a pack of cigarettes and slipped one into his mouth gingerly. Then, pulling out a lighter from his warm overcoat. It was October now, and the days were getting colder. The wind cut through him as he fumbled to get the lighter to ignite. Finally, after the breeze stopped blowing so hard on him it ignited, and he lazily leaned against the ledge, enjoying his cigarette and the temporary relief from the drudgery of his morning.  
  
All of this didn't go unnoticed by Sango, whom didn't look overly surprised to see him smoking. It was a rather common thing now to see more students doing. She didn't care. What did it matter? It wasn't her lungs. Yet, she still felt she had to comment. She laughed a little, "Those things will kill ya."  
  
A smile crept up his lips as he nodded, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "Yeah, I suppose so, but I'm not the one jumping off roofs either." He wasn't sure why he had said that, maybe out of spite a little, but he didn't enjoy being ridiculed for his bad habits.  
  
Her face darkened a little and her body stiffened. _God, that's right, my suicide he had found out about it, shit._ "I see," she said, quietly. "Do you hold me in contempt then, for doing such a thing?"  
  
The way she had said it made it seem like an accusation, but Miroku knew better than to take things too offensively. "No, I suppose I can't. We all do things we regret, stupid things."  
  
He looked thoughtful for a moment as he studied the smoldering cigarette resting in his hand. Letting it drop to the ground he stomped on it quickly and put it out. "We like to think we're in control most of the time, but in the end, poor choices and bad habits get the best of us sometimes."  
  
"And you, Miroku, are you in control?" She wasn't really sure why she was asking him these questions, but he seemed to have a deep wisdom to him, something she could grasp unto to, something that was rather uncommon. She needed to hear it.  
  
"Not always," he replied. There was a mysterious glint in his eyes and his voice seemed to get a little lower as he continued speaking. "We all can just fuck up so easily. It's hard."  
  
_Hard. That doesn't even begin to describe it._ She hugged herself tightly as a shiver went down her spine, a cold chilling feeling attacking her from all ends. "I'm tired of fucking up and life being hard."  
  
"Are you?" His voice questioned the seriousness of her words.  
  
"Yes." There had been no doubt in her mind. _That's what I wanted, to just die._ "I couldn't have regrets, after all, I nearly took my life."  
  
Suicide. Miroku hated thinking of such things, of such lonely desperate people. It hurt him to see her as one of those people. _No, she's not,_ he thought. _She's not._ "Why didn't you just jump after I stopped you? What are you waiting for?" He didn't mean it as much as a challenge is it was to make her question her own actions.  
  
It was funny, before, Sango felt like she could out right tell him off and give a clear decisive answer but now...Now she was unsure, now she really didn't know why she hadn't killed herself earlier. "I don't know," she answered honestly. _And here I thought I would actually do it. What's wrong with me?_  
  
"Regrets," he said simply. "Is there something you don't want to leave yet, something you'll regret not being able to have back again?"  
  
She thought of her cruel relatives and the hopes of one day living actually happily with her father and brother, and she suddenly became very defensive. "What is this, an inquisition?"  
  
_Maybe, but I was hoping you'd fall for it._ "No, it's not. I just wanted you to take your suicide seriously. After all, you won't be coming back. That's something to think about."  
  
Taking Miroku's words to heart she fell silent and didn't say anything else. His words had gotten to her and more thoughts of possible regrets and whether she'd be happier dead circulated through her mind.  
  
It felt nice knowing he had made her think more seriously about what she was going to commit herself to doing. After all, he didn't know her but certainly didn't want her to die. "I hope you find what it is you're looking for, Sango. In this life, I've learned there is too much at stake to ever be unsure and make poor decisions."  
  
Originally, it had never occurred to Sango that Miroku was actually talking from experience, but if that were true it would make this much easier for her. "Did you?"  
  
"That's difficult for me to answer." He clutched his shoulders a little more tightly to his jacket as he let out a sigh. Why not tell her? It doesn't matter...not anymore. "Yeah. I did."  
  
"And do you regret it?"  
  
He nodded. "Every day of my life."  
  
Sango wasn't sure if this was the answer she was looking for. It would have been much easier to hear that he hadn't, but she knew somehow he would say he did. This troubled her, considering she was now making that decision. It was hard. She was given something to seriously think about.  
  
Miroku noticed Sango deep in thought, which did him good. He at least knew something stuck. Man, he thought, wish I had that kind of advice. He shook such thoughts out of his head and stood up straight, walking towards the door.  
  
This action was enough to stir Sango as she watched him calmly walk over to the exit. He placed his hand on the knob and Sango's voice lashed out, "Stop!"  
  
Miroku looked a tad startled as he looked back at the girl. "Sango?"  
  
"Where are you going? I-"_wanted to stay with you longer._ But she couldn't say that. No, her pride wouldn't let her. She wasn't helpless.  
  
"Fourth period is starting soon," he replied. "I've skipped second and third hour, so I might as well go to this one."  
  
Silently she nodded, "Oh, go ahead, I'm sorry."  
  
His lips curved as a satisfied grin rolled across his face. "You didn't want me to leave?"  
  
_No!_ her inner voice screamed. "I-"... "I don't know."  
  
_Good enough for me._ "Well, the problem is, I've been skipping a lot lately, trying to catch up on some sleep, and I'm afraid that I might flunk out before the semester is over."  
  
"Sleep?" she asked, curiously.  
  
"Yeah, I've been working nights and haven't really slept well these last few days."  
  
Work? Now that was a strange weird to hear. She knew of some students getting jobs for the summer but not so much so during the regular school year. "That's a little, odd, I guess."  
  
Shrugging, he turned towards her, deciding not to leave quite yet. "Yeah, but when you need the money you'll do whatever it takes."  
  
Something sounded a little strange to Sango, so she kept asking questions. "Well sure, but what do you need all that money for? Do you have a car or something?"  
  
"Yeah, it's not much of one though, my hundred dollar American miracle car." He smiled as he said it, obviously finding it rather hilarious. "The thing is a piece of shit."  
  
"Oh." At first, Sango had believed it to be something expensive and lavished but by his later statement but now knew it to not be true. "So what kind of work do you do?"  
  
That small smile of his seemed to diminish a little as he thought of his work. "Nothing great, just night shifts at a convenience store. Doesn't pay well, but I don't need much any way. That and, the whole business of being my age and not having a high school diploma is sort of a bad omen in most peoples' minds."  
  
_Ah, hah,_ she thought, _he really isn't my age. I knew it._ "Why haven't you graduated yet, then? You're a lot older so were you held back or-"  
  
"Just wasn't around for two years," he cut off. "I was going through some stuff back then that I was too immature to take care of."  
  
That really had saddened Sango, from the sound of things, Miroku actually sounder rather mature now. He was doing a good job of comforting her. "So you have to pay for those mistakes now?"  
  
"Yes, with any mistake or wrong doing you ever commit, you'll eventually end up paying for it one way or another. Don't forget, Sango, there are consequences for everything."  
  
Sango could only imagine what consequences she'll eventually face depending on the outcome of the situation. There was still so much left in the air now, so much more to think and contemplate over.  
  
It wasn't like Miroku wanted to leave, but he was finding it difficult to continue staying there when there would be consequences for him very soon if he didn't leave. "Well, hey, it's been nice talking to you, but I do need to go now. My apologies"  
  
That sinking feel returned in the pit of Sango's stomach at the thought of him leaving but knowing what she did now, she wouldn't keep him. "Later."  
  
Sensing her sadness Miroku had to do something for the girl, he couldn't very well just leave her all sad and lonely. "Do me a favor, Sango. Look me up sometime and we'll talk. Maybe I'll tell you some other stories. You're a good girl. I hope I don't end up seeing you lying dead on the pavement sometime."  
  
"I can't guarantee that." ..._Can I?_ She was still filled with uncertainty.  
  
_Still keeping that up, Sango?_ He cringed just a little. "I know, but I consider you a friend now, and I'd hate to hear that anything had happened to you."  
  
For whatever reasons an unusual feeling over took Sango, and she could feel her cheeks grow a little hotter. "Th-thank you." It wasn't often a boy could actually flatter her.  
  
"Don't mention it," he said brightly.  
  
All the while, his mind was going crazy, she had such a nice figure, and if she weren't in such a destitute situation he would have easily grabbed her ass a few times. He was, after all, a notorious ladies man. His school reputation of being a lady-killer was vastly known. He was surprised Sango didn't know of him, but then again, that wasn't too surprising. They were very different, Sango seemed to keep more too herself, not having many friends, and Miroku was known by everyone for doing something. But he wouldn't say he was popular, just known, he didn't like most people he knew anyway. He hadn't much tolerance for idiots.  
  
Miroku's insides may have had a craving for Sango, but Sango herself was feeling something rather unusual. Her stomach felt very odd, not upset, but not right either. Those so-called butterflies pestered her as she stood uneasily, staring at Miroku, not taking her eyes off him. He looked so calm and serene, well composed. She admired it.  
  
Yet, at the same time, Sango was known for her being very cold to boys and now, now, she was being taking for a ride by the single most well known player in the school. The irony was almost tragic.  
  
The pleasantry of the young woman in front of him gave Miroku a warm affectionate feeling, as well as a deeply troubled one. He hardly knew the girl but knew immediately he would do everything in his power to prevent her from jumping off that roof. He so desperately wanted to not have to see her go. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, talk to her...be with her. Somehow, she felt magnetic, a lost soul much like his needing to feel the tenderness of others.  
  
Finding his voice again he said, "Would you like me to walk you to your fourth period?"  
  
Her insides screamed yes but her head shook a 'no.' "I'm sorry, but I just can't. Not now, not yet."  
  
For a moment his eyes looked rather sad and disappointed but there was nothing he could do to change her mind at the moment, and he wasn't going to force anything. "That's fine. Some other time then?"  
  
Sango didn't really know how to answer Miroku. She was still very confused about the whole situation and needed sometime to think things over more. Lucky her, she still had the rest of the day. "Maybe," she said uncertainly.  
  
He nodded, "That's fine." He walked over to her and gave her a gentle hug and then slowly walked off the roof and down the stairwell. "Take care of yourself, Sango," he called.  
  
Miroku's latest little stunt had put Sango in an even more helpless position. It'd been so long since she'd felt anyone's embrace. What was she going to do now? After meeting Miroku could she really go through with killing herself?  
  
She sighed and lay sprawled out on the roof, looking up at the sky. "I'm all messed up."

Back in class, Miroku was already feeling a bit of separation anxiety from Sango. If he could, he definitely would have stayed with her but his circumstances were difficult and the last thing he needed was to be kicked out of school possibly, yet he didn't feel right about leaving Sango either.  
  
_Life's tough like that,_ he thought, as he looked down at his uncompleted trigonometry homework. _There can't always be an easy answer.  
_  
"Mr. Sayama," his math teacher interrupted his thoughts, "Do you know the answer to the problem?"  
  
_Problem? What problem?_ His mind raced. _Shit, wasn't paying attention again._ "No sir, I do not."  
  
His teacher, Mr. Nozaki, wasn't the least bit please. "Miroku, see me after class."  
  
As the class made jeering noises Miroku could only simply nod, "Yes sir." _Great, that's just what I need, more trouble.  
_  
The hour slowly went by and anything remotely close to what could be called productive work on Miroku's part was not at all evident, in fact, he'd spent most of the hour sleeping and just doodling in his notebook. For whatever reason his mind just wouldn't focus, he couldn't help but occasionally drift back to Sango.  
  
_Please be alive,_ he thought. _It'd be pleasant to see you again._ Such thoughts were quickly interrupting by the bell and the rest of the class shuffled out of the room as Miroku stood waiting for his teacher's lecture.  
  
"You wanted to talk to me," he said.  
  
Mr. Nozaki nodded. "Yes, we seem to be having a problem."  
  
Miroku's face looked quite displeased, he'd already talked to several teachers that morning, one more would make a difference in his attitude, and it just was a repetitive annoyance. "Yes?" he asked, as if he didn't know.  
  
"Nothing. You do nothing at all in my class. Why? Do you not want to be in high school? From what I can tell most of your grades are very poor."  
  
This had struck a cord with him, but he wouldn't be angered. "I'm passing."  
  
"Don't you ever want more than that? What do you think you're doing with your life young man?"  
  
All these questions had made Miroku feel like he was being lectured by his father, and he had none, so there was no point in his man trying to act like one. "I don't really know, but I'll take care of my own life thank you." He made a motion for the door but was stopped by the man's final words.  
  
"In that case, you don't really have a future."  
  
The door shut and a feeling of hundreds of pins being jammed into his stomach made him feel distressed and uncomfortable. His anger rose as he thought of those hurtful words. _I'll prove them all wrong some day. Just wait.  
_  
Trying his best to forget about what had just been said he went about the rest of his day. The idea of skipping ran in his mind but decided to ditch the idea; he'd just end up in trouble any way. 'I've already gotten the lousy grade speech and don't need the poor attendance one.'  
  
With his stomach growling and irritation high, he made his way to the cafeteria and decided to just beat it to lunch and worry about the rest of the day later. He was only half an hour early before his actual lunch hour any way, and he'd at least be able to talk to Kagome and Inuyasha rather than Shippou. The exchange would be worth it.  
  
Walking in carefully to make sure none of his teacher's who could identify him were around, he cre[t over to a corner table in the way back of the large room. He saw the rest of his friends eating casually and sat done.  
  
They were of course shocked to see him but weren't abnormally surprised, Miroku played by his own rules and did usually what he wanted, consequences be damned.  
  
"Hey guys," he said, slightly down.  
  
Inuyasha gave his friend a hard look and decided to ask what his problem was. Miroku only did this when something was bothering him. "What's up? You usually don't come around too often, at least, not as of late."  
  
"Yeah," Kagome added in, "You've been keeping a decent attendance record, so I don't really get it."  
  
"Just wanted to talk to you guys. I've been having a bad day."  
  
That had set Inuyasha off. "You don't just do whatever the hell you want because 'it's been a bad day' what the fuck. I thought you were gonna stop doing this bullshit, Miroku."  
  
"I know, I know, damnit. God knows I get enough lectures from my teachers, I just needed to get away for a while."  
  
Kagome was sympathetic towards her friend's plight. He'd been having a rough year and had just gotten out of a slump only to fall back in so soon. She squeezed his arm gently and smiled, "Consider yourself away."  
  
"Thanks," he smiled back lightly.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"If you two are done exchanging your manners, I'd like to hear what your problem is before I throw up."  
  
_Same old Inuyasha,_ Miroku thought. "I don't' know, it's just."... "There's this girl, Sango. I caught her trying to kill herself today."  
  
"That's why you're upset? Must I remind you it's not your businesses to get involved in other people's shit? Huh? You give too much of a damn, Miroku."  
  
"Damnit, Inuyasha," growled Miroku, "It was a person's life, it's not like they were missing their English paper. I should think you'd know the difference."  
  
He fell silent, not sure how to answer. "You don't need to get so defensive. What did you do, make out with her?"  
  
Miroku didn't say anything else, a distant look grew in his eyes and he looked outside one of the windows, it was drizzling out and it made him feel worse. _Sango's probably still out there.  
_  
Kagome made haste in connecting her elbow into Inuyasha's gut for making such snide remarks to Miroku. After she'd finished she went on with prodding him to tell them what was up. "So you saved this girl obviously, then what happened?"  
  
"We just talked. I don't know for how long, must have been a while. And when I finally had to go I didn't want to leave her. The look in her eyes, Kagome, they were just so sad, like a lost puppy. Now I feel sick for even leaving her."  
  
_Wow,_ thought Kagome. _Miroku usually is never this serious when it comes to girls. He must have had hit something deep when he was talking to her._ "Okay, I understand now, sorta. The question is though; what can you do about it?"  
  
"Nothing at the moment, but I still want to. For some reason she just sort of reminds me of my old self. I don't know... it's just something."  
  
Now Kagome had fallen silent along with Inuyasha. It was a rarity that Miroku said anything about his past. None of them really knew much about it but could tell something had happened to him that was a big deal. They didn't dare touch on it; some things were better left unsaid.  
  
Inuyasha swung his arm over Miroku's back and gave him a mildly sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so harsh but don't beat yourself up over this. After all, you must have helped all you could."  
  
"That's true," he responded. "But I wish I could do more."  
  
"She's hopefully not going anywhere," said Kagome. "You can always check on her if that's what you really want."  
  
"Yeah. I will." He stood up and left the cafeteria abruptly, feeling a rush of an emotion and an overwhelming need to see her again.  
  
"Go get her lover boy," Inuyasha said under his breath. He then turned to Kagome and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "What do you think is our little boy growing up?"  
  
"Maybe. Just maybe."  
  
And the two went back to enjoying their meal, their thoughts still on Miroku and the mysterious girl he had talked so fondly about. It had been roughly an hour and a half since Miroku had left leaving Sango back to her own thoughts. The rain was beginning to fall harder and her body felt heavier, unable and unwilling to get up she just let the rain come down on her.  
  
What did she care after all? Rain was actually something pretty beautiful and was often celebrated in the past in relation to a successful growing season. But the only thing growing now were Sango's fears and concerns. The uncertainties she carried within her made it difficult to decide on anything.  
  
_What will I do?_ she asked herself. _What's left for me here?_ There was only a few things that still tied her down. That being, her brother and father... that and, maybe, "Miroku," she said quietly to herself.  
  
"Would you be sad," she asked out loud, "If I die?"  
  
"Yes," came the quick reply. Miroku was standing just above her head, the rain pouring down on him as well. His hair was beginning to look soggy and his sneakers made a squishing sound as he moved to sit down next to her.  
  
Sango, was of course, very surprised to see Miroku back and sitting next to her no less. "Why? I thought you'd be in huge trouble if you didn't go back."  
  
He responded casually, "Some things are just more important."  
  
_I'm important? Me?_ She studied his face, hoping that she wasn't being made a fool of, she was too often the bud of jokes. The quiet girl, miss doom and gloom, the boys referred to her as. It hurt, and she didn't appreciate it. Her true nature was nothing like the one most people saw. Inside she was a pretty happy charismatic gentle person. She wore most of her emotions right on her sleeve and felt very fragile. So she hid, hid so others wouldn't break what little she still had.  
  
That though, wasn't enough. She still was feeling hurt and most certainly was not happy. Nothing was right, nothing was fair. As the pain swelled up inside her a liquefied version of sadness streamed down her cheeks. It felt good to cry.  
  
She touched her fingers to her cheek and examined the moisture. "It's been so long since I've cried."  
  
"We all need to cry sometimes, "Miroku softly replied. "It reminds us how human and vulnerable we actually are, even if we don't like to believe it."  
  
"I believe it," she said bitterly. "I'm a weak and terrible person. Death is something I deserve."  
  
The understanding he began to feel for the girl quickly grew from pity and sympathy to anger and irritation. "No," he snapped. "No one ever deserves something like death and you're just being pathetic by saying so. You're just welled up in your own sadness."  
  
"Maybe I am!" she cried. "So what! So what though? Who gives a shit? No one has up till now, it's never mattered before. Why should it matter to you? Why do you have to care?"  
  
"I don't have to do anything. I'm doing this because I want to ."  
  
"You hardly know me."  
  
"I could get to know you."  
  
"You wouldn't like what you see."  
  
"Let me be the judge of what I like and don't like."  
  
It grew quiet and the only sound that could be heard between the two of them was the sound of rain splashing against the concrete of the roof. They were now drenched from the rain but they'd made no progress in going anywhere. Sango was still disillusioned and sorrowful, Miroku stubborn and confused. The two had sat there a long time, not saying anything.  
  
"I hate myself," whispered Sango. "I hate my family. I hate school. I hate life."  
  
"I'm no good and won't amount to anything. A delinquent and a threat to society is all that I am."  
  
"I want to die and never come back."  
  
"I want to move away and forget my past and never see this place again."  
  
This was an awkward moment shared between the two, it was odd to be so open towards another person, frightening almost. People can hardly understand themselves let alone others and keeping up appearances is always a crucial role for people. No one ever wants to be the person with all the problems and disturbances in life, unless seeking attention. This wasn't one of those cases, they just wanted to be normal teens without so many problems. There are just too many aspects in life to ever feel you're in control of, or are happy with, that's what makes it tough.  
  
"Wow, it's been a long while since I was so honest with myself," Miroku said quietly. "Sometimes I think I'm really just miserable and convince myself that I'm happy because I'm afraid to face what I don't like to see."  
  
This had surprised Sango, Miroku at first glance seemed to have it all together, but that really wasn't true. "I can understand, for me though, I dwell so much on the pain and never overcome it. I don't know where my happiness lies."  
  
"Yeah, I can relate sort of, I don't know where I'm going at all in life. I feel like I'm going around in circles and whatever piece of myself I'm missing, I just cannot find."  
  
"Alone. I feel alone a lot." She hugged her arms to her chest, the chilling rain made her shiver all over. "I don't have anyone I could ever consider a friend."  
  
"I'll be your friend, Sango." He looked over at her and offered a small smile, his face looked gentle and calming, as water droplets from the rain trickled down from his bangs, running over his face. His eyes were glossy and had an unknown feeling lurking within them. His face drew closer to her and his eyes more intense.  
  
Her eyes downcast from him and stood intently at the ground, anything to avoid Miroku's heavy gaze. "What if I don't want to have friends?"  
  
"Everyone wants a friend. It's human nature to need the feeling of companionship of others. Don't deny yourself happiness just because you hate yourself now."  
  
"I've always hated myself."  
  
"Then I would say that I'm sorry for you."  
  
"I need your pity."  
  
"What do you need then?" he asked, the sound of his voice rising.  
  
She felt trapped, for so long she'd lied to herself about what it was she wanted and the feelings she chose to ignore and now had to face them. Face him. Her family soon, considering the suicide note, and everything else. "Someone!" she screamed. "I just want someone to care about me!" Her face contorted and she broke down in a wretched sob, realizing what she just said and being honest about the loneliness she felt.  
  
That feeling of sadness and regret washed over Miroku again as he saw her sobbing. It was never his intention to push her this far. He gathered her up in his arms and hung on tightly to her. "Sango," he said quietly, "I'll take care of you. I'll be there for you." _Anything, I'd do anything to see you happy._  
  
She looked up at him, tears still swelled in her eyes, a look of fear and that of longing. "Don't leave me." It had been so hard for her to reach out for someone and now that she had she already feared the day he too may walk away. "I don't want to be left behind anymore."  
  
"I wont, Sango, I won't." He patted her back soothingly and laid her head down in his lap. He could feel her body pulsating from the cold and that only made his grip on her that much tighter. _We won't be alone anymore._ End of chapter  
  
Okay, wow, so that's the end of the chapter. It was long mainly because I couldn't stop writing and I owe you guys for not having updated sooner. So what do you think? I hope you liked it. I enjoyed writing it. There will be more plot development soon, just keep reading please.  
  
Aamalie- I certainly thank you for the compliment. I've been trying harder to write better and with more eloquence. I find it very challenging but I enjoy it. As for being indecisive that was ff.net's fault. This new damn edit system they have screws up a lot of my writing and I have to go back and fix it all the time. Thanks for the really great review though.  
  
Rissi-sama- Yeah, sadness is my specialty, but God knows how much I just love happy endings.   
  
Small-buttercup- Sorry for making you wait so long, I hope the length will make up for that.  
  
Lar-lar- Wow, thanks a lot, you always have something so positive to say to me. It really helps a lot knowing that people think I'm improving and they are enjoying the story.  
  
That's all for the kick ass reviewers from the first chapter. I hope there will be more to come. Thanks to everyone who read the story. Expect the update... Who knows when.  
  
Till then,  
  
Adios,  
  
Zero. 


	3. Crash'n Burn

Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.  
  
Dialog "Meep meep meep."  
  
Thoughts Are in italics.  
  
Author's note I do apologize for the lateness of this chapter I had wanted to originally update a lot sooner but there are always complications... sighs Them's the breaks, nothing I can do about it now but just write whenever I have time. Hope you enjoy it.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
For You

By Staind  
  
To my mother, to my father,

It's your son or it's your daughter,

Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?

Should I turn this up for you?  
  
I sit here locked inside my head

Remembering everything you said

The silence is what kills us!

Gets us nowhere way too fast!  
  
The silence is what kills me

I need someone here to help me

But you don't know how to listen

And let me make my decisions  
  
'Cause I sit here locked inside my head

remembering everything you said

The silence gets us nowhere! Gets us nowhere fast!  
  
All your insults and curses make

Me feel like I'm not a person

And I feel like I am nothing but

You made me, so do something

'Cause I'm fucked up because you are

Need attention, attention you couldn't give  
  
I sit here locked inside my head

Remembering everything you said

The silence is what kills us!

Gets us nowhere way too fast!  
  
_Tears.  
  
I can feel Sango's tears...  
  
I always had hated it when people cry, namely my father. Whenever I would see him break down in tears I never knew what to do, so I hid. I ran from him and did my best to try and stay away.  
  
Looking back now, it was a foolish thing to do but that's how I learned. My mother used to always be there to wipe away my tears, but she died, now, no one does.  
  
Father was always in such despair and never knew how to handle himself afterwards. I don't want to say it was pitiful to see a grown man cry like he did, but being at my age it only made me feel worse. That is, if he is already crying, what is there left for me? I never knew. It felt wrong to cry with him because I wanted someone strong to protect me, protect me from my own fears. He never could though, no, he was fighting his own demons.  
  
Really, I guess it doesn't matter now, since he's dead. Even as I say it I can feel the sadness welling up inside me but nothing comes out. I can't say I'm out of tears because I always did my best not to cry. Not because it made me feel weak, but vulnerable, I suppose.  
  
It is a stupid thing but that's all I know. I take the sadness that I feel and direct it towards other things, just bottle it up until it finally reaches the breaking point. It's not healthy, but I won't change. How can I now?  
  
Impossible.  
  
That's how it feels.  
  
Even now, as I hold this girl in my arms, I don't know how to make her stop crying because I want to cry too. I want to cry just to cry, just because it's been so long...but I can't. I wont' let myself and because of it I shoulder my own unhappiness and pain.  
  
What a stupid thing to do, yet, it feels instinctive, that I must handle myself and not depend on people, not because I'm afraid they'll go away, but because I don't want to be let down again.  
  
That's how I feel. Abandoned by my father. Ever since mother had to die he changed so much. He was no longer a man who couldn't stop smiling, just the empty shell of a person torn by heartache. To me, it felt like I was all but forgotten he was too caught up in himself to help ease my pain.  
  
So now, that's how I function. Unable to cry, doing my best to feel nothing and let emotions slide past me or just pretend they don't exist. I know they do though.  
  
Sango's tears remind me of what sadness feels like as well as the pain of loneliness. That's probably why I'm not close to many people. Mainly Kagome and Inuyasha, but even they don't know that much about me. Because I don't want anyone to worry about me, I avoid talking about my past to them. Stupid, I know, but that's what happens. We never learn any better, and it becomes hard to break old habits.  
  
As for being with girls, it's true; I usually don't feel anything for them. Yet, they don't even care about that, as long as I hang around their arm like an ornament or a prize they're happy. Most don't look for companionship or affection, they just straight up want to fuck or use me for more popularity.  
  
Whatever. It doesn't affect me either way. The only thing I hate is breaking up with a girl. Usually, they're the ones done with me, but some, some are serious and it's hard to tell someone that they never really loved you.  
  
I'm a breaker of hearts and bringer of tears, so does that give me a right to comfort this girl now? Is it wrong of me to save her from disparity? Will I only be hurting her in the long run?  
  
It always seems to happen, one girl gets too attached and the fun ends, there's no more happiness, just a bitter person I took advantage of.  
  
Now, I'm afraid, I would never want to do the same to her. No one deserves that, but I don't do anything to stop it. That's what I have to do now, however. I need to stop this vicious cycle because what makes it a cycle is the fact that it continues. I won't let it anymore.  
_  
"Sango," said Miroku quietly. "Are you going to be okay?"  
  
She still was nestled tightly in his arms and her face was streaked with dried up tears. Her body shivered less as the rain continued to come down but was wrapped in the safety of Miroku's arms. "Y-yes," she stuttered a little, "I think so."  
  
"Good," he said softly, and strengthened his grip over her a little more. The more she spoke the more she seemed helpless to him and the more he wanted to keep her safe.  
  
For a moment Sango had to catch her breath. She wasn't expecting Miroku to be so... compassionate. No one had ever treated her the way he was. It nearly brought tears to her eyes. "Thank you, for everything. You're very kind."  
  
He shook his head, "No thanks necessary. I was happy to do it. You're a very nice girl."  
  
"Could you tell other people that," she spat bitterly. She didn't mean for it come out but those things just kind of slip. It was obvious not many people thought much of her.  
  
"I don't need to." He pulled her a little closer to him and lowered his head down to her neck. "If people can't see how great you are on their own, then they're just too dumb to even bother with. You need to think higher of yourself, Sango."  
  
The steamy heat of Miroku's breath caused Sango's neck hairs to stand on edge as she tried to form a reply. She was at the moment, stunned. "I—I never knew anything different."  
  
His eyes seemed to downcast a little, but he kept his firm grip over her. "That's a shame, a girl like you, got a lot going for ya."  
  
She remained silent for a moment, "What are you implying by that?"  
  
That had caught him off guard. Miroku was the one who usually played the fiddle to his tune, not the other way around. "I don't really know."  
  
"What kind of answer is that!?" Sango quickly covered her mouth, slightly shocked at what she'd said. She would never outburst like that with other people. _Why am I so upset?_  
  
"Suppose it's not a really good one." He relaxed his body a little more and quickly felt more comfortable. "I'm not sure but, I think maybe, you'll be a person I want in my life right now."  
  
_A person he wants in his life right now, me?_ The notion sounded crazy to Sango and she wanted to dispel all doubts A.S.A.P. "What does that mean? You hardly know me."  
  
An odd awkward smiled spread across Miroku's face as he let out a light hearted laugh. "No one knows anyone, Sango. People hardly know themselves, let alone other people. You don't need to know someone to trust them, you just have to believe there are still some good genuine people out there."  
  
A lump seemed to be forming in Sango's throat as she urged Miroku to press on, "What does that mean?" As his lips began to move she felt something give way in her stomach and felt as though she may internally combust.  
  
The words helplessly rolled off Miroku's tongue as his eyes stayed fixated on hers, "Let's move on with our lives, together."  
  
As soon as he said it, Sango immediately looked flushed as though she would pass out. _What do I say to him...? Oh_,_ Kami._ The familiar nauseating sensation returned to her stomach; she couldn't even form a response.  
  
Her action frightened Miroku mildly and he immediately elaborated. "We hardly know each other and I'm not talking about anything romantic but..." His eyes looked down at the ground for a moment before raising them, they seemed to have a kind of twinkle to them. "It's a lot easier to have someone rather than no one at all. Even if we just start out as friends and stay that way I'd be happy. I just need someone."  
  
_Someone. A friend._ The words sounded almost foreign to Sango as she repeated them in her head. It was hard for her to form an answer for him; after all, there were so many uncertainties. She didn't want to be thrown on an emotional roller coaster. She was already a wreck, nothing more was needed. Though this was true, there was something else, something about him that she admired and wished to grasp unto.  
  
_Those eyes. I want to be with that boy with those clear unhesitant eyes and sparkling smile._ In a bold move, she reached her hand over to his and clasped it tightly. "I'd like that," she said quietly.  
  
In an unexpected move he quickly gave her a peck on the cheek and smiled his brilliant smile. "You don't have to be shy. If we're going to stand by each other we have to be comfortable. After all, as my friend, I'll have to trust you conclusively."  
  
"I-I..." the notion was rather unfamiliar with Sango since she'd worked so hard to close herself off from other people and not be entangled in the webs of other's emotions. "I can try, I suppose."  
  
"Trying is the first step of doing."  
  
This had made Sango crack a smile, no matter what uncertainties she held within herself it seemed Miroku could make them just dissipate within seconds. "You're right."  
  
"Here," Miroku reached into his pocket and grabbed a pen; grabbing her arm he scribbled down a short series of numbers. "There's my number, call me."  
  
"Wait, what!?" Her eyes seemed to go frantic for a moment as he stood, intending to go. "You're leaving?"  
  
He nodded, placing his hands in his pockets he looked up at the sky. "Yeah, I think the weather is only going to get worse. If I were you, I'd go to the nurse and just stay there for the rest of the day. I mean, it's nearly over."  
  
"It is?" she questioned. "I had no idea it'd gotten to be so late."  
  
"That's what happens when you get into a conversation with someone. Time just seems to be irrelevant." He was about to walk off when he took a second glance at her and reached his hand down.  
  
She looked up at him curiously. "Yes?"  
  
"Let's go together. I'm not going to leave you behind." In one fluent motion he'd hoisted her up from the ground and held her tightly in his hand.  
  
Sango didn't speak she was just stunned.  
  
"Don't look so shocked, being together means being together. That's what people do, they help each other."  
  
"And you'll help me?"  
  
"Always."  
  
"Okay," she nodded, "okay." She didn't let go of his hands and together they walked off the roof, not looking back at it.  
  
They went down the stairwell together not saying anything, classes were in session and they had to be quiet so as not to get caught. They were already in trouble for skipping classes, so they didn't need to be in more for being caught in a staff only part of the building.  
  
The door creaked open and two heads peaked out the corridor. As they thought, the halls were dead silent and the bell that had signaled the beginning of last hour had rung only but fifteen minutes ago.  
  
"Alright," breathed Miroku. "It doesn't look like the assistant principal or anyone is monitoring the hall, so we should make it to our respective objectives."  
  
Sango just listened to him as he spoke, she couldn't help but notice his business like attitude towards it. For her, it was rather comical and she could tell he had a lot of experience with this sort of thing.  
  
"Lead the way, "Oh Captain, My Captain."  
  
Miroku gave a wavering smile as he slipped out the door with Sango right beside him and proceeded quickly straight down the hall. The only obstacle was the main office, in which, if they were to be caught, their heads would be placed over a mantle.  
  
Knowing this, Miroku decided the best course of action to take would be to slip past the office one at a time, crawling on all fours.  
  
"You go first," Miroku whispered. They were positioned just outside the office window. "It's more important that you make it."  
  
"Eh... Sure." Sango wasn't sure what game Miroku was playing and although weird, she decided not to spoil it for him. Getting down on her knees she proceeded crawling across the floor, careful to not blow her cover.  
  
While Sango made her way across the floor Miroku couldn't help his eyes from committing a small act of depravity as they were glued to her ass shaking about as she moved. Sango was oblivious to it and had made it all the way across when she heard a 'smash.'  
  
_What the..._ She turned her head in confusion and saw that the door had swung open and nailed Miroku right in the face as he followed behind her. His nose was dribbling a small amount of blood and a sheepish grin was on his face. The head administrator stood over him with a fierce presence.  
  
"What may I ask, are you doing?" he said in a booming voice.  
  
Resorting to the best tactics he knew Sango motioned to Sango to continue, then got up and wiped his nose. "Oh, well, you see, I was just going to the nurse. As you can see my nose is bleeding and this is a problem."  
  
Only for a second did Sango look back and shake her head and then continue on to salvation. _That idiot, how could he have paid so ill attention?_ She got back up and scrambled into the nurse's office while Miroku dealt with the cruel fate handed to him.  
  
"It is undoubtedly a problem that your nose is bleeding but that doesn't explain to me why you were sneaking around my office to take care of it."  
  
Miroku's eyes darted back and forth his brain was in overdrive trying to come up with a decent answer. "Well, I—"  
  
"I'd like an answer that is believable, Mr. Sayama," the principal forcefully reminded.  
  
"Of course, it's simple really, I was just trying to keep my head low to the ground. They say if you tilt your head back when you have a bloody nose that you'll have stomach problems. Wanting to avoid this I moved around the floor with my body close to it. Because of that my vision was impaired and I was unable to see your door, and it un- expectantly slammed into my face."  
  
The principal did not look pleased. With his face stern and eyes wild as he asked, "You really think I'll believe that story?"  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"That's probably the most ridiculous excuse I have ever heard."  
  
At this point Miroku had bought enough time to form an idea. In his mind, he was home free, even if his principal didn't realize it. "Well sir, every minute we waste here, poking holes at my story the more I drip blood on our floors and the more health risks there are at stake. Not just for myself but others as well, who knows what blood diseases I may carry."  
  
That was definitely a point made there. Miroku did have the reputation to back such claims up. Not wanting to argue he decided to comply, "Fine, go to the nurse but know you'll be back in my office tomorrow to discuss your lack of attendance in class."  
  
"Yes, sir." He quickly collected himself off the floor and darted away to safety. _Wow, that was a close one. For a second there I thought I wasn't going to make it.  
_  
_For a second there, I thought I'd have to deal with him for another twenty minutes, trying to impose discipline. Oh_,_ well. _Not taking a second look the principal walked casually away from the scene and figured a janitor would take care of the little mess. It was too long and stressful a day for him to worry about such things.  
  
"Can I help you?" asked a cheerful voice. A plump middle-aged woman wearing a nurse's outfit stood before Miroku with a large smile. "Is there something you need?"  
  
"Yes, my nose you see, well, it's bleeding."  
  
"Why yes, I can see that. I'll get you a wet washcloth, feel free to sit down."  
  
Miroku did and took a seat down on a chair positioned just outside a curtained off room. He figured Sango must be in there resting so he figured it best not to disturb her.  
  
"Here," the nurse handed him the cloth, a smile on her face.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're very welcome."  
  
_Someone is cheery, must be all those antidepressants she takes or something._ Miroku decided not to comment on her delighted disposition. Why bother after all?  
  
"Are you the boy Miss Moriyama was talking about?"  
  
His mind quickly jumped back to Sango and he nodded hastily. "Yes, I'm him. Is she in here?"  
  
The nurse casually pointed her head in the direction of the curtains. "She's resting actually, she said she was having a rough day and a kind young man came and helped her down here. That was quite nice of you."  
  
Miroku was unfazed by the compliment his mind was only focused on Sango. "May I go and see her then, to make sure that she's alright?"  
  
She looked quiet for a moment but eventually shook her head 'yes.' "Make it quick."  
  
"Sure." With the cloth still in place over his nose he proceeded through the curtain and observed a resting Sango. Her eyes were wide open and looked mildly troubled. He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "You going to be okay?"  
  
Dazed as she was Sango responded sadly, "I think so."  
  
This wasn't very reassuring for Miroku. "Hey, come on, I thought we were going to be okay. What's wrong?"  
  
She sniffled as her head buried itself into her arms. "Nothing is wrong, if anything I feel grateful. Right now though, I'm confused. Very confused."  
  
He wanted to press further but now wasn't the time and place for any sort of probing. No, he'd be as supportive as he could. "That's fine, I understand. Here," he grabbed her arm and pulled out the pen he still had in his pocket, "you write your number down, and I'll call you after school. How's that sound?"  
  
She complied and through blurred vision managed to write down the number. "Will you call then?"  
  
"If I get a chance. I'm actually going to a small party tonight. You could go if you wanted." His eyes looked hopefully at her, he really wanted to introduce her to Kagome and Inuyasha.  
  
The thought was pleasant for Sango but she would have to decline. There would be no telling what hell could be raised in her house for going to such a thing. "No, I don't think I can."  
  
Miroku wasn't very hurt by this just disappointed, but he could understand of course. "No worries, maybe some other time."  
  
"Maybe." She still felt really unsure. She concentrated her eyes on another part of the room, anything so long as it wasn't Miroku. She didn't want to see his face and the contempt and disappointment held within it, she assumed.  
  
_Geeze, Sango, don't look so upset._ Instinctively he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a friendly embrace. "You didn't do anything wrong. Don't feel so bad about it. Take care of yourself, that's all I want you to do."  
  
Amazingly, Sango was totally caught off guard by this move. He wasn't made apparently and was even being very reassuring to her. _He really is a friend. I can rely on him._ "I have to thank you again, for everything. You've done so much for me."  
  
"You're doing it for yourself. Just remember, even if you're afraid, just keep moving forward. There has to be something there to reach for." He left her with a goofy grin and a warm feeling in her heart. Things were beginning to work out.  
  
The door of the nurse's office closed, and Sango was again left to her own thoughts. Thoughts of which that were enlightening and hopeful. She had something now and had the opportunity to find maybe even more.  
  
It had been a long time since she'd been so hopeful and optimistic about the future. Even after trying to kill herself that whole incident seemed almost like ancient history.  
  
Rolling over on her side, her eyes began to close and a smile rose just on the edge of her lips. _My future is uncertain but I can at least say I have a future. That's good enough. I don't need anything more.  
_  
It fell harder. The rain continued coming down in sheets and soaked Sango down to the bare bone. Her clothing wet and body soaked she squeaked into the front door of her house. When she woke up from the nurses office it was just after sixth period. She didn't make it to the station in time to catch her train so she walked home. Not having an umbrella proved to be a problem, though it wasn't fatal.  
  
After all, she was home now and that what had mattered. Not even the sorry state of her now wet wardrobe could change how she felt about being home.  
  
_Am I relieved?_  
  
"No," she said, fighting with her better judgment she slipped off her shoes quickly and plodded up the stairs. The aroma of dinner was heavy in the air, but she needed to be thinking with her brain and not her stomach.  
  
Quickly, she opened the door to her room and shut it tightly behind her, almost frantically. _The note!_ She had to find the note. To her relief, however, the note was still gently folded on her bed. A deep sigh escaped her, "Thank Kami." Feeling relaxed, she plotted down on her bed and waited for the beckoning of her father to come down for dinner.  
  
Tatsuya shifted in his chair uncomfortably, "I suppose Sango is home," he said dimly. He had been in a good mood earlier that day but most of his hopes of a peaceful evening were dashed. When Sango was having a bad day the first thing she always did was race up to her bedroom and slam the door fiercely. Which she had just done, bringing him grief and the thought of another unpleasant evening with her bad temper.  
  
Kohaku noticed his father's somberness towards his sister's return and couldn't very well blame him. Sango was quite unpleasant to be with when angry about something, especially since the past two weeks in which his father's girl friend, Kaori, had begun living with them.  
  
"Should I call her down to eat?" Kaori asked thoughtfully.  
  
"You better, she needs to eat something anyway," replied Tatsuya calmly.  
  
"Right." She excused herself from the table for a moment and walked up the stairs, slowly creeping up to Sango's room.  
  
Sango could hear her steps and wished they would be moving away from her instead of towards her. She didn't necessarily hate Kaori, but she didn't like her either. She tried too much to be her mother, something Sango wouldn't tolerate.  
  
She rapped lightly at the door, "Sango, come down for dinner."  
  
There was no reply from the bedroom, Sango's head was wedged into her pillows.  
  
"Sango?" she asked again.  
  
A muffled response.  
  
Kaori didn't hear it and ventured inside. Sango didn't make an effort to stop her as she entered the dark room, the lights were off and everything was quiet, there lying on her bed was a rather distraught Sango.  
  
Her head turned towards the intruder and she said, "I'll be down in a minute. Please leave. Thank you."  
  
The harshness of which she spoke and the blandness of her words was something Kaori didn't take too kindly on but knowing she probably couldn't get to the girl at the moment she complied and left, bitter with herself and Sango.  
  
Relief struck Sango's face at the site of her leaving. Whether or not she was too harsh didn't matter to her, she just wanted her to leave. Now she was alone and knew that she'd be expected downstairs shortly. She ran through her options and knew that whatever course of action she took there would be consequences.  
  
If she went downstairs she'd have to face the barrage of questions thrown at her about her day and what her problem was. She didn't want that.  
  
The other option was to not come down at all and face another interrogation and possible reprimand for her actions. Neither of the options looked that good but seeing as she was hungry she went with Option A, face the parents.  
  
Dragging her tired body off her bed and down the stairs she approached the kitchen. Immediately she was pierced by the sound of audible laughter and smell of soup.  
  
_That's good at least,_ she thought. I_ could use something to warm myself up._ Like a zombie she entered the kitchen and took her seat at the table. All eyes were on her and they felt heavy and judgmental. The room was silent. She wanted to get away but there wasn't any going back now.  
  
The first words out of her father's mouth were, "Why are you all wet, young lady?" His auburn colored eyes glinted as they focused themselves in on her.  
  
She scanned the room trying to avoid her father's gaze, finding nothing to focus in on she just turned her head to the floor. "It was raining," she replied gruffly. "I missed my train and had to walk all the way back home."  
  
Continuing the questioning he asked predictably, "Why did you miss your train?"  
  
"I was asleep in the nurse's office."  
  
"You could have called."  
  
"There was no point in being a bother."  
  
The ringing sound of silverware filled the air as Tatsuya's fist came down hard on the table. "Damnit Sango, why do you always have to take that kind of attitude?"  
  
Sango was mildly startled by this action but remained defiant. "If you're going to get angry about it I'm just going to leave. I didn't eat lunch today anyway so skipping another meal isn't that big of a deal to me."  
  
Now that had struck a sour note with Kaori. "What!? You didn't eat any lunch today after not bothering to have breakfast."  
  
Kohaku watched as his sister was being slowly cut down. He felt sorry for her and wanted to help but there was nothing he could do. He stayed silent, watching for Sango's reply.  
  
What control she had on the situation was now slipping with both the adults attacking her, but she decided to stick to the game plan and not get bent out of shape, staying mellow. "That's right."  
  
"Christ, Sango," her father's voice cracked under his extreme frustration. His face was scrunched up and eyes ablaze. Sango had picked the wrong time to be depressed.  
  
Kaori's face faltered as she examined the young woman across from her over. Her face contorted into many expressions as she noticed the state of Tatsuya's daughter. She had a thin looking figure, very thin, and a ghastly expression. That alone was a white flag that something was troubling her. The way her father spoke to her made her feel even more unpleasant. That wasn't the man she wanted to see, and Sango, poor Sango, she looked almost too frightened to do anything.  
  
Whimpering, all she could mutter was an, "I'm sorry." A single tear slid down her face and made a soft sound against the table.  
  
Tatsuya remained quiet and didn't say anything. While part of him did feel ashamed for his behavior another part was glad to know he'd put her in her place. It was always hard to deal with her, and he'd now just reached his breaking point.  
  
Sango could feel more tears stinging her eyes and knew that her sobs wouldn't be contained much longer, pushing out her chair quickly she left the room, devastated and unable to speak.  
  
Now Kohaku was feeling uncomfortable. He felt disappointed for his father and angered with his sister. _Why can't those two just get a long?_ Since no one felt like saying anything he didn't dare venture into conversation. He just sipped down his soup quietly, trying to vanish.  
  
"Tatsuya," Kaori touched his arm, "I think we need to have a talk with Sango."  
  
His face remained neutral for a moment as he looked down at the table and shook his head. "I realize that but talking with her feels impossible. Me and her, we're worlds away right now."  
  
"You should still try." She offered him a comforting smile.  
  
"Easier said than done."  
  
"Than I'll talk to her."  
  
That comment had brought out a small outburst in Tatsuya. "You!? I'm sorry but, Sango... Well, she's not exactly fond of you."  
  
Her face sank a little and she let out a knowing sigh. "That's true, but you're not having much luck with her either. Some things take a woman's touch."  
  
"Babying her won't bring her out of this slump, you know," he said in a cool and knowing tone.  
  
"Neither will yelling at her and making her feel isolated and alone!"  
  
Game set and match, Kaori had won that round. As Tatsuya's eyes remained glued to his plate in a dejected manner he nodded to her, saying silently, "go then, good luck."  
  
She wanted to argue the issue more with Tatsuya but knowing it would get her nowhere at this point she just left the table and went upstairs after her. Even if she couldn't get anything out of Sango at least she wouldn't be abandoning or neglecting her.  
  
The sound of Kaori's feet coming up the stairs made loud panging noises within the depths of Sango's, each step another stake in her heart. _I don't want this,_ she thought,_ it's too much. All too much._  
  
Her eyes squeezed themselves tightly as she curled up in feeble position fearing what may come next what the ultimate result of everything would be. Her suicide, Miroku, her father's wrath, attitude problems, not eating, and everything else.  
  
_What's going to become of me?_  
  
She didn't know.  
  
The knob of the door was about to turn when the phone began to ring. Quivering, she reached over and picked it up.  
  
"Moushi, moushi?" she asked uncertainly.  
  
"Sango, is that you!?" the voice exclaimed.  
  
She was mildly dazed for a moment when the realization of what the voice was hit her. "Miroku?"  
  
"Hey!" he sounded rather exited.  
  
"I—"  
  
She hung up the phone upon seeing Kaori entering her room. The worry expressed on her face was undeniable and the sincerity of her eyes was crippling.  
  
"Sango."  
  
On the other end Miroku was shocked to hear only a dial tone on the other end, no Sango.  
  
"I guess she didn't want to talk," he mumbled to himself, slightly angered.  
  
The phone bang against the receiver and he got up and went into the kitchen. No one else was home yet it was just him. As he sat down at the table, grasping a can of Coke, a small feeling of emptiness had crossed his path. The apartment for which he was living in seemed even more bare than usual, two chairs, one only occupied, a small kitchen, a living room containing just a couch and an old TV with no reception, as well as a promiscuous and misplaced bed.  
  
Yeah, that was his home, there wasn't much there...ever. It was one of those hard truths staring you right down in the face. Sighing he got up and grabbed his jacket from the floor.  
  
"Might as well go to Inu's party."  
  
And that was that.  
  
He walked briskly out the door and into the night's chilling air. With no car he was left to walk a fair distance but being that he was used to it the time he made was quick and within a half an hour he would be there.  
  
_God,_ he thought, _I can't wait. Damn do I ever need this._  
  
Kaori's eyes traveled up and down Sango's face trying to catch her expression. Troubled was the only word that came to her mind. She didn't like it. Closing the door behind her she said, "We need to talk."  
  
She tried swallowing the lump that had gathered up in her throat. She couldn't. "Fine," her voiced managed to squeak out.  
  
It wasn't hard to sense the restlessness and nervousness confined within Sango but it led to Kaori wondering why. For what reason did she feel intimidated or scared of her. "Sango," she said curiously, sitting down on her bed.  
  
Sango's eyes avoided contact with Kaori and instead watched the movement of her body. She looked comfortable sitting on her bed, her hands folded neatly on her lap, legs folded over the edge. _God,_ she thought, _she's so formal, business like almost.  
_  
"Sango?"  
  
_Who am I kidding? I'm probably another job to her just a hassle she has to put up with to be with my father.  
_  
"Sango!" Kaori said, a little more force this time. "Are you going to be okay?" Her hands slipped over to reach hers.  
  
"Don't," she said in a hushed and fierce voice. "I'll be fine."  
  
At first sadness and guilt seemed to swell up in Kaori's stomach, then anger. Helping her was all she wanted to do and the accusations made it that much harder. In her mind she could see how Tatsuya could easily grow so tired of these games. "I don't buy that one bit, Sango, now I want you to explain to me like an adult what the problem is."  
  
_You!_ her mind screamed. She hesitated. "What business is it of yours? Why don't you go back downstairs and discuss with my father an appropriate punishment?"  
  
It was getting tougher now, her patience was beginning to dissipate. "You must not think very much of me or your father, do you?"  
  
Sango didn't answer. She'd let the woman ramble on if that'd get her to leave quicker, let everything off her chest.  
  
"Or are you thinking something moronic like that we don't care about you?"  
  
There was that we that had somewhat awoken Sango from her daze. She couldn't deny her father's romantic involvement with that woman but imply as far that she had a parental responsibility to her that went too far.  
  
She didn't realize it at first but teardrops were slowly plummeting unto her bed, Sango looked up in surprise when she heard Kaori's voice asking, "What's wrong? What you crying for?"  
  
Panic struck her first. Her pride wouldn't allow herself to cry in Kaori's presence but there she was, blubbering almost.  
  
Acting on pure womanly instincts Kaori's arms flung around Sango and held her close, letting her cry into her shoulder while gently patting her back. In attempts to sooth her she spoke calmly, "It'll be okay just let it out, don't worry Sango."  
  
_Don't worry? Don't worry! What the hell is that!? Of course I worry. I worry that you're going to be my mother. Worry that you'll try to get involved in my life. Worry that I'll never find happiness._  
  
"Damn right I worry!" she screamed. She knew why she was upset but acting on it as she did shocked even her. She pulled away from Kaori and tucked her head into her knees, getting into a feeble position._ I always worry._  
  
The tears kept falling harder and Kaori was the one feeling helpless. _How could Sango have slipped away so far?_ What was going on in her mind right now? She didn't know. Things were far more serious than she could have imagined.  
  
_What am I going to do now?_ Kaori's mind raced. It was obvious something needed to be done but such a something eluded her. She was too far gone at this point. Dejectedly she left the room with tears swelling in her eyes as well.  
  
Tatsuya sitting on the couch looked up from his paper and gave a hard glance at Kaori. He could see she was distraught and knew things hadn't gone well. "What happened?"  
  
"Your daughter needs help, Tatsuya. Something is gravely wrong with Sango."  
  
He grunted, not fully understanding. "Why, did she call you a bitch or what?"  
  
She shook her head. "I wish she would of. It would have made things a lot easier for me. Instead, she just broke down crying. I tried to comfort her but she wouldn't have me and her mind just seemed to be in such shambles."  
  
That was a disturbing thought. Tatsuya didn't know how far away from his daughter he really was and by what Kaori was saying he knew they weren't in the same galaxy anymore. "What do you think we should do?"  
  
"A physiatrist, that's what she needs. Because if we don't get her some kind of help soon I'm afraid she may do something extreme."  
  
There wasn't any need for her to go on, the picture was painted pretty clear. They were dealing with a teenager who was in an extremely delicate situation.  
  
"I'll start looking for one tomorrow, but right now, let's get some rest."  
  
"That's fine."  
  
The two went back up stairs, they could hear the faint muffled sobs of Sango's and they both got a terrible feeling in their stomachs. Things were most certainly going to start to change. They just weren't sure if it would be a good thing, even if needed.  
  
Miroku took a careful sip of his beer, it was rolling right around 11pm and the party was still going strong. He had his share of drinks and was starting to feel it. His hand shook mildly as he brought it up to his lips, the savory taste of the liquid washing in his mouth and down his throat.  
  
He wasn't sure why he always drank at these things, he was usually always relaxed but tonight he was starting to feel tense. He crushed the can in his hand and let it drop to the floor. Sitting next to the cooler he pulled out another and ripped off the pop-top.  
  
_It's funny,_ he thought, _I find the taste of beer not all that good but somehow I just have no problem putting it down.  
  
_Looking down at his full beer he sighed. "God, I'm going to get so wasted tonight."  
  
"My sentiment exactly," came a voice from behind him.  
  
Miroku didn't need to guess. "Hey, Inuyasha."  
  
"Yo." The grinning teen sat down next to him and grabbed his full can of beer. "Not over doing it too much I hope. You know this shit ain't all that good for you."  
  
"Like I care." He pulled out a cigarette.  
  
_And neither are those..._ This was a disturbing action for Inuyasha to see he knew that Miroku dabbled in some risky business, but he usually was much more in control than he was now. "Not like it's my business or anything but why are you going so heavy on this shit tonight. Something wrong?"  
  
He didn't say anything at first and just focused on lighting his cigarette, his concentration was blown. His head was spinning from all the beer and Inuyasha's voice was beginning to get hazy. _Fuck_ was the only word registering in his mind.  
  
"You listening to me god damnit!?" Inuyasha pulled tightly on the collar of his friend's shirt his eyes looked off centered and far away. "Miroku? You there?" Now he was beginning to get very concerned.  
  
The sound of Inuyasha's voice was registering in Miroku's mind but he couldn't see him, at least, not clearly. His head was pounding now, the alcohol taking its effect on him.  
  
"Shit," spat Inuyasha. Miroku was on the verge of passing out now. "You dumb fuck." He let go of his friend and let his body slump back into the chair he'd been sitting in. He left him there and decided to come back and check on him later.  
  
Still conscious Miroku rested his head in his hands just thinking of the consequences of not only going home like this but how he'd be feeling tomorrow. Sometimes he wished that he would stop and think a little. He'd felt good for a while but that was all going to hell now. "I can't ever make the right decision. If Sango were here I bet she'd say I was pathetic and would never speak to me again."  
  
Fear, shame, and sickness welled up inside his stomach as he bent over and began vomiting. He was sick, oh so sick. He was sick in the head, sick in the heart, and sick in the body. He shuddered violently as all his energy was escaping him from his violent hacks. It was an unnerving and terrible feeling, disgusting really.  
  
"Fuck," he moaned, "I regret ever taking a sip of one single beer. Now look where it got me." He continued to vomit.  
  
The scene for everyone else was rather humorous since everyone else was mildly intoxicated they saw it as more of a joke that Miroku couldn't hold his liquor, if you could really call beer that.  
  
"What a joke," cackled a boy. "Is this really supposed to be the big man all the girls swoon over? Give me a break. What an idiot."  
  
"Yeah," commented someone else. "Pathetic, really."  
  
The room erupted in laughter and the group began partying on. Teenagers were not just stupid but cruel.  
  
Inuyasha pittied his friend. He hadn't expected the evening to turn out as poor as it was for him He had wanted him to have a good time, not get piss drunk and embarrass himself like this. _That idiot.  
_  
"Inuyasha," came Kagome's quiet but firm voice. "Help him."  
  
"Yeah, don't worry babe, I will." He smiled at her gently and went over to help his friend.  
  
Kagome watched from the side but was hardly relieved. She hated coming to these sorts of things, but she had wanted to see Inuyasha so she did but what she was seeing now began to disturb her. Miroku was getting himself into some trouble and there was a lot of tension being built up, soon it was going to be just like a train wreck, all watching no helping. They needed to do something before it was too late.  
  
The humiliation Miroku was feeling was pretty bad but having Inuyasha help him made him feel worse. _Am I that stupid?_ He got up woozily and tried to get to the door, Inuyasha steadied him.  
  
"Where you going, man?"  
  
"Home."  
  
"You should spend the night. You're not well."  
  
"I never am." He broke away from his friends grasp and was able to make it to the door and walk outside. The air was crisp that night and had it hit him like a flash. The feeling was refreshing.  
  
Inuyasha didn't make an attempt to go after him. Unlike Kagome, while he knew Miroku was headed into some rough shit he trusted that Miroku would be able to help himself and all that he himself could do for him was to just support him. After all, it was Miroku's life and part of him felt that he had no say in how he conducted himself, no matter how destructive. "Take care," he said silently and went back to the party.  
  
Outside Miroku was making progress back to his apartment. Though he wasn't walking steadily he managed to avoid getting into any means of traffic. Even if that was so, part of him had wished a car would accidentally sideswipe him.  
  
"Why didn't I just stay home tonight? I could have figured that something like this would end up happening."  
  
He ran a hand through his disheveled mop of hair trying to sooth what pain he still felt. He could imagine that right now he must be looking terrible considering how well he usually tried to keep his appearance.  
  
And that wasn't the only problem. Mushin would be at home probably waiting back there for him.  
  
_Kami,_ Miroku's mind cursed. _Mushin, I forgot about Mushin. He's going to kill me when he sees me like this.  
_  
At a usual standpoint Mushin was fairly flexible about what Miroku did since he too was guilty of some rather unhealthy behavior but guilt only carried so far. Miroku was going to have to pay the price sooner or later. This was about as irresponsible of him as he could get, never mind skipping classes or hitting on young female teachers. He was in for it and that was a hard truth.  
  
The knob turned and he stepped inside, a light in the kitchen was still on and a shadowy figure was there waiting for him.  
  
Miroku had smiled at this, taking another step in from the door he made it into the living room. Having a better look at the figure he could see Mushin's stern face, though he chose not to say anything yet.  
  
"Hey," Miroku muttered. "It was a hell of a night." Then he closed his eyes and passed out the faint sound of a loud sigh ringing in his ears. His body hit the ground hard and that's all he had remembered.  
  
End of chapter  
  
Okay, please don't kill me. I know it took me FOREVER to update, I know, I know. There were lots of reasons for this but it's not worth getting into now. This summer has gotten off in a really shaky start. Please accept this long chapter as an apology. Thank you. And thanks to all those kick ass reviewers of mine.  
  
Rissi-sama- I appreciate the admiration. I think a story is only good if you can switch between genres because life is like that too, always changing not just one way or another.  
  
Katrina5- Hey, thanks a lot, it does me good to hear from a near reviewer who's really enjoying my kind of story telling.  
  
Lar-lar- I was sad to have kept you waiting so long after seeing what enthusiasm you had for the last chapter. May this serve as an even better one I hope.  
  
Aamalie- I don't think it's possible for me to not fear you but the insight you give is most wonderful. You give the honest and most true reviews in my standpoint, thank you.  
  
Rain Angst- Yeah, they are sad, but not everything is just sunshine and roses either. Life is tough shit and everyone should know it.  
  
Babystigmata- I'm so happy you liked it and so sorry that it had took so long to update. Please be sure to review again.  
  
Evelyn12345- I learned the hard way that loose ends always need to be tied up. Thanks a bunch for the kind review.  
  
All you guys friggen kick ass and you've all been so wonderful to me. Thanks a hell of a lot!  
  
Expect the next update... Uh... Soon I hope. I really have to make some progress.  
  
Till then,  
  
Adios  
  
Zero.


	4. Wrong is Always Right

Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.

Dialogue - "Meep meep meep."

Thoughts- _Are in italics. _

Author's note- Wow, I got a really good reaction to the third chapter. I know a lot of people found it pretty dark and serious as well as destructive. I realize that, but I think, it's part of human nature and that not enough people realize their own brutality towards themselves. It's my way of saying welcome to the real world and that people like that do exist and the tragedy of human error can take its toll on people. Keep in mind the fact that life does dabble in some dark business: Death, greed, lust, gluttony, alcohol, drugs, war, and so many other unpleasant things.

But I think the lighter side of all of that is people still try to change despite being gluttons for punishment. Overcoming the odds is one of the greatest thrills and challenges in life, the ultimate undertaking in my mind. So, I guess, just sorta think about that when you're reading this and try to understand the thinking involved.

Finally, I'd just like to say that there's been a lot happening to me. A lot of the things related in this fic does come from experience (stupidly enough) and I'm learning the hard way the price of human existence. You have to endure so much pain to get any happiness. I just haven't been good with dealing with the pain right now, and I apologize that my actions are taking a toll on my writing. Just stay with me you guys, and I'll do my best.

Thanks. 

Chapter 4

Gently

By

Slipknot

Gently, my mind escapes into the relaxing

World of pleasure, a pleasure that'll take

My mind off the reality of my life,

My past life...life as I know it now.

And whatever my come, it slowly

Disappears to somewhere in the back

Of my mind. It will remain there,

Until I wish to retrieve it.

Yes, I will stay here for a while,

For I need a break. A break from the

Pressures of life, and everything

That lays in the palm of life's hands.

This mode is incredible. It's out of

This world. Too bad I must always leave it...

...but that's life. 

The blurry numbers of the alarm clock read 4:27. Sango's eyes squinted to read it at first and immediately felt distressed when she did read them.

_I still have an hour and a half, only an hour and a half for another miserable day to begin again._

She shifted uncomfortably on her bed, tossing and turning every-so-often. Her body was hot and sticky-probably from sweat, and her pillow felt wet and saturated. She had had another nightmare. Luckily for her she wasn't able to recall it; she never was. Even so, it still troubled her that her subconscious could be so plagued that it was all too terrible to remember on a conscious level.

_I hate this,_ an irate voice in her mind stated. _Even in my dreams there isn't any comfort or safety to turn to. Am I meant to feel this way? Some sort of punishment for mistakes made in the past...A lesson?_

"Bullshit," she whispered hoarsely. "People make themselves suffer. Nothing else does it for them, not intentionally at least."

There was a collective silence in the room followed by a stifling moan.

"I must be going insane. After all, I'm carrying a conversation with myself."

Sango pressed a pillow over her heard in attempts to repress the confusion going on in her mind and to quiet the voices she could not understand. The voices she did _not_ want to understand. Even if she wouldn't admit it, those voices were nothing more than fabrications of her own mind, different parts of her and what she knew to be her truths.

In essence a mind given to her conscience, a knowing and powerful feeling of things known to herself but not wanted to be accepted.

People can't deny the fact they talk inside their heads sometime. How could they? It's just like reading to yourself or holding back your tongue and thinking terrible things about a person. Denial gets a person nowhere. We all do it, some people just more so than others. Does that constitute for insanity?

To care or understand was something Sango wasn't going to do. She could simply ignore it and deny ever having such thoughts, but the truth isn't something that is so easily ignored. It comes back right when you least expect it.

_Why can't things ever be easy?_

Admittedly she said, "I'm the one who makes it hard."

_Then why? Why do you make it so hard for yourself?_

"Because I hate myself." As soon as the words slipped from her mouth there was a cloud of self-doubt forming in her head. Did she really mean it?

_It's easy to come down on myself when I'm depressed. It makes it that much easier to wallow in my self-pity. _

"Maybe it isn't so much that I feel sorry for myself as much as it is that I want to feel this way, so that I'm able to at least feel something."

_Can't I feel happiness, love, joy, or affection instead?_

"Yes, but nothing good ever lasts. Feelings such as those fill you up temporarily but eventually sadness will overwhelm you. To give in early on is that much easier on myself. That way, it doesn't hurt so much to fight and then lose."

_So then, I can't get over the simple fact that life isn't mean to be easy... That the struggle is what makes it all worth it in the end? _

"Haven't I suffered and struggled enough already in life?" she whined.

_There are other people worse off than me though._

"As a person I'm selfish and can't always look at other people for comfort with the fact that I'm better off than they are."

_I never tried though. As a person, I never made an attempt because I was always afraid of failure._

"Not afraid. Just realistic."

_Then maybe I should just realistically take a chance. After all, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain._

"Damn," Sango cursed. "Why is it that I always have to struggle to know and do what is right?"

_Because inside I'm two different people, the person I want to become and the person I am. _

"The person I want to become... is someone who is dead. I hate myself."

_No, I just hate feeling like I can't do anything and punishing myself for not bothering to try._

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Sango screamed. "I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter anyway. I can't change what's happened to me. It's far too late for anything now. So just leave me alone."

Sango waited for the all-knowing voice to chime back in her head, but it never came. For now, she could rest. The conversation she had though was still unsettling. Her mental state was slipping through her fingers. She was all messed up and wanted nothing more than to never wake up.

Sure enough, the sound of her alarm clock buzzed in her ears and morning came at last. Her wish unfulfilled, she got up and slipped on her school uniform. Usually it was a struggle to get out of bed but this morning she felt eerily awake.

As she combed through her mesh of hair that had gotten all tangled over the previous night, she could her the rough noise of pots and pans banging together downstairs. Breakfast would be ready soon, and she would quickly find herself off at school dying through another day.

"Sango dear!" Kaori called. "It's time for breakfast."

She sighed and put down her hairbrush. "Let's bring on another miserable day," she said quietly to herself and wandered downstairs. 

A low groan escaped Miroku's mouth as he warily opened his eyes. The sun had already come up and his head was pounding. He rarely got hangovers, but whenever he did, they were always terrible. His mouth tasted of vomit and he had a cold sweat from sleeping in his clothes last night.

"Man, I can barely even remember what happened last night. I really have to start taking it easy from now on. Not sure if I can keep going on like this."

He turned his head towards the wall clock and nearly fell off the couch. It was 7:30 and school would be starting soon. Scanning the floor for his uniform he was unable to locate it, meaning it was in the laundry or lost. He didn't have the time to go and look for it.

"Damn it, can't anything ever just work out for once?"

Getting up off the couch he threw off his shirt and grabbed what looked to be a clean cotton tee from off the floor. He wasn't going to bother with pants and decided he might as well just wear his jeans. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to show up for school that day. Taking his coat from off the chair in his kitchen and grabbing a package of Pop-Tarts he hurriedly went out the door.

The apartment was a mess, he was a mess, and worst of all he probably wasn't going to even make it on time. He wasn't even sure why he was trying so hard. 

Yawning, Sango looked up at the clear blue sky. She'd been lying down on the roof of the school ever since she'd gotten there. Feeling like ignoring her studies she wanted to be somewhere of peace and solitude. The hope that Miroku may show up there had struck her once before but she was trying to repress it. They had gotten into quite an escapade the other day. She did, however, enjoy his company and even owed her life to the young man.

Turning over to her side she let herself relax more. The first morning bell would be ringing soon. She already had a rocky start from last night, and the bombardment of questions at breakfast hadn't helped.

_"You look terrible. What's wrong?"_

_"Are you sick?"_

_"Have you been crying?"_

_"Do you need anything?"_

_"Why won't you talk to me!?"_

And so on and so forth. It's not that she didn't like the concern she was given but it seemed frivolous to try and explain anything. Not with the confusion she was already facing. She wanted nothing more to be left alone.

"Then why did I bother even coming here today?" she asked herself.

_I just wanted to see him again._

"What a stupid thing to think," she said smugly, even though she did know this to be true. After yesterday she had felt so alive. Miroku had some power over her to jumpstart and energize her. To make her feel crazy about life.

The toll of the bell sounded and disappoint had struck Sango momentarily. "It was stupid to think he'd come back up here. I'm not sure why I even bothered. Now I'll be in even more trouble for being truant two days in a row. Lucky me."

She knew she should get up and if she was lucky her teacher could probably buy a half-assed excuse but her legs wouldn't move, and she remained there.

Miroku heard the bell sounding and knew he had failed after being so close. He had just walked into the building as classes had already started. He noticed that the door to the roof was very close to him while his class was way down the other hall.

_Should I risk it? I mean, will it even be worth it? Especially since I had skipped yesterday. There's no telling what trouble I may get into or why I'd even bother. _

"Guess it doesn't matter. Who knows, maybe that Sango chick will be up there again." The thought of meeting her again seemed awkward and comforting to him at the same time. He was surprised that he even thought of her.

Driven by something he let consequences be damned he began climbing the stairs up to the roof still wondering why he was even bothering. As he turned the knob his breath was nearly taken away.

His eyes quickly caught Sango lying there with her eyes closed and hair blowing about in the wind. In a terrible analogy he thought, _She looks like sleeping beauty. _

As Miroku stood gawking at her Sango opened her eyes and felt a presence near her. When she turned around she nearly screamed. Seeing Miroku there, staring at her so intently, made her blush heavily.

_I didn't think he'd actually come...and what's with all the staring? That pervert!_

"I—" Miroku didn't quite now what to say. He'd been caught in the act and after the blush on Sango's face, he wasn't sure how to react. He even felt a little flushed.

"What are you doing here?" she said quickly. Not wanting to give him time to ask about why she was blushing. She wasn't even sure.

_Great, now she's angry. Kami, give me a break! _He scratched the back of his head nonchalantly and tried to show off one of his cutest grins. "I didn't feel like going to class today and thought maybe you'd be up here."

The last sentence hit Sango hard, and she could hardly believe her ears. All the blood was rushing to her head, and she knew she must be glowing a bright, florescent red by now. "Y-You wanted to see me?"

"Sure," he said with confidence and ease. "Why wouldn't I?"

Sango didn't know what to say in response. Her stomach felt like it would explode at any second. "Will you go back?"

"To class? No."

Unsure of why, a satisfied grin spread across Sango's features. It felt like a relief to have company, and Miroku seemed to have a way of making her feel relaxed. It was a mutual understanding between the two, though they hardly knew anything about each other. "I'm not either. There's no point."

_Now that's pretty interesting. We could go somewhere with this. _Miroku had always had a devious mind, and he already had something working in his head. "If that's how you feel, then you would care to just go?"

"Go?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Let's just leave. You said yourself you won't go back. Let's not waste our day up here."

The risks involved made Sango feel weary of her father finding out but it also jumped at her and invigorated her senses. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere."

It may have been the way Miroku had said it, or with the passion he had for his plan but Sango had somehow felt stirred in feeling and wanted nothing more to run away with him and never look back. "Okay."

That single word was the best thing he had heard all morning. Forget the trouble, forget the hangover, and forget the problems. All he wanted to do now was to have a good time and be with someone he felt could possibly understand. "Good," he said with great confidence and ease.

She looked up at him and smiled back. It was funny, she could always smile easily and pretend she was happy, but this time it had feeling and meaning to her.

The smile she had produced almost stopped him in his tracks. He hardly noticed the fact she was already at the door.

Giggling she had called out to him, "See something you like, idiot?"

The words, _Oh yeah! _Had briefly registered in his mind. "Err...I...um... I got lost in space there for a moment."

She looked skeptically back at him, eyes full of accusation. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but he beat her to the punch.

"Let's just leave. Staying at this school any longer is going to make me sick."

_You are already,_ an eerie voice whispered in her mind. He looked fine to the normal glance, but the way he carried himself and was so lost in emotions suggested otherwise. _That's not important,_ she struggled to remain in control of her thoughts. _I can grope him for information—_

Her eyes suddenly twitched as she felt his hand suddenly clasp unto her ass. _Later_, she thought, and smacked him hard and squarely in the face, hoarsely muttering the word "pervert". They were outside the building now and she took the initiative to walk a step fast than him.

Never one to let old habits die Miroku relished in the fact he managed to cop such a good feel and get away with a meager punishment in his mind. _She probably won't trust me for a while now but it was worth it. She's got such a luscious body... _

Sango, now very paranoid, kept looking back and forth between him and the sidewalk. With this routine they hadn't made it very far, and Sango was in-between fits of giggles and anger. The cocky grin he had on her face made her smile at what an airhead he could be but infuriated her that she wasn't being taken seriously. _What's his game? Is he looking for just a piece of ass or is there more to it? _She dismissed the thoughts when she felt his shoulder brush up against hers. _When did he get so close!!? _her mind was screeching.

Knowing he had made a bad move early on he expected the daggers that were shooting out of he eyes left and right. "Sorry about that. It's a bad habit I have."

"Humph." She was definitely not impressed by the explanation. "Well—" she hesitated a moment-"whatever." _Why can't I ever say what I mean? _Came a struggling thought.

_Bad move, Sango. Check and mate, I win. _"Any way-" (ignoring Sango's displeasure) "where is it you'd like to go?"

"Breakfast," she responded eagerly. "I want some breakfast."

Seeing the hunger in the girls eyes and the husky tone for which she spoke he had to laugh a bit. "Well, I certainly don't want you starve." His own stomach seemed to lurch, yelling at him, _"Don't forget me, idiot!"_ He grinned sheepishly, "Suppose I could fill my belly too."

She nodded briskly not giving it much thought. The topic of starvation was one she didn't like much. That's all she seemed to ever hear, _"Eat more" "You're so skinny!" "Aren't you hungry?"_ ...And so on. She didn't think she had a problem or that she was fat or anything. She just didn't feel like eating and that certainly wasn't a crime.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked, catching a quick glimpse of her face, looking very serious.

"The restaurant down the street is fine." She didn't offer much more of a response. Her mind had forgotten about Miroku and drifted back to home. _I wonder what'll happen once I get home..._

Miroku wasn't dumb. He could tell that she was ill at ease, but knew that if there was any good thing that he could do for someone, he could put a smile on their face. He wasn't going to let his rep be tarnished. "Come on," he said nonchalantly, "let's sit down and relax." His hand slipped around her waist casually, pulling her into the restaurant.

Reluctant would be the best way to describe Sango at the moment. Their "restaurant" was more like a-hole-in-the-ground rather than a place to eat. A "restaurant" with crude looking characters. "Yeah," was the only way she could respond, and she let herself be pulled in.

They sat down at a booth but that didn't help Sango to feel all that more at ease. She never usually put herself in a position when she was just one-on-one with a guy. In a group at times, maybe, back in Junior High. This was different though... Miroku was different.

Unsure for what the situation called for she slowly sank down into the booth. Almost wanting to disappear from view. Miroku's eyes fell heavy on her. It was as if she were drowning in them.

"Sango?" His eyes fell upon the top of her head, as she looked downcast at the edge of the table.

In a childish manner looked up at him guiltily, like she had stolen a cookie right before dinner. "Yes?" she asked carefully.

Miroku drew in a quick breath and took the plunge. "Would you like to come over to my place?"

_What!!!? _Sango was too shocked and too upset to even utter a response back to him, well, more like an absolute refusal.

The response he got from Sango wasn't surprising but as always Miroku wasn't letting on everything that he meant. "You seem rather uncomfortable in a social setting like this, so I figured if I brought you to my place I could fix you up something and you could me comfortable."

It wasn't really that setting that had upset Sango more than it was her being one-on-one with Miroku. Now the thought of not being a public place with him drew up a white flag.

"I—"

She didn't get any further as Miroku leaned his head over the table and into her face. She tried to draw in a sharp breath as he spoke but her eyes were lost in his features.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Sango. I just want to get to know you. Will you trust me enough to do that?"

Sango could feel the heat rising in her body and knew she must have an absolutely red face at that moment. Running on nothing but adrenaline she whispered out a, "Yes."

That boyish grin she knew so well flashed across his features as he jumped from the booth and grabbed her hand. "Great, let's go!"

There were about a million things running in her mind right now but all of the voices going for her better judgment had shut up and was doing that she _wanted _to do. It had been far too long since she was ever able to just go out and do something and not think of consequences. It was an invigorating feeling full of freedom and self-gratification. It had felt that good.

She was on her way to Miroku's apartment now and the feeling of worry and self-consciousness had left her. Being with him somehow made all her rational thoughts and concerns dissipate.

End of chapter

Author's note I had originally planned for the chapter to be much longer than it was but as always things just seem to change once you start writing and form more plot ideas into your head. I'll be sure to update much much much quicker than I have in the past. But that will be a bit of a problem. I am moving and when I do get there my Internet won't be established for probably quite a while. I plan on writing whenever I can though and trying to put up my stuff at the library when I get the chance. Thanks for everything guys. You've been really great.

Rissi-sama- I wanted to kind of make a misunderstood character to be Sango's new mother figure in the house...even if it is wishful thinking for me. I don't think Sango needs to go through any more tribulations.

Katrina5- I thank you very much for that. I know that the high school plot has been done a million times before. I just think I can do it better and give it a little twist, ya know.

Lar-lar- You never complain or yell when I don't update quickly, and I thank you very much for that. You're always so very kind.

Shelly-chan the DayDreamerz- Yeah, it's sad, but so is life. I'll be sure to continue though.

Luclipse85- You're telling me that this is disturbing is a huge compliment to me. That tells me I'm doing my job as a writer so thanks very much.

Rain Angst- Sorry I was defensive but it seems like everyone wants to criticize the harsh reality I'm trying to create.

Aamalie- I won't even address everything you've said to me but thank you oh so much for the huge paragraph review. I luvs you too!

Fanfictiongeek36- Yup if you don't start getting the plot rolled out in the first few chapters then the story just kinda collapses and it drags on forever...

Backsplash007- Your reviews are always so nice. Thanks! The summer has been...interesting. Thanks for being patient. ;

Babystigmata- You probably wouldn't believe that this is the earliest I was able to update but shit happens lets just say. But I did.

Inu-shounen- Of course I've missed you!!!!!!!!! And thanks for the huge compliment man. You're the best!

Chocolatechipp- Sorry about the Miroku drunk thing but that's the way I wish to portray him. Thanks for still reading though.

Thanks everyone. You guys all fucking rock. I know it's been forever since I've updated but I'm trying. I really am. So thanks, thank you all!!!

Till the next time...god knows when.

Zero


	5. Remedy

Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.

Dialogue "Meep meep meep."

Thoughts _Are in italics._

Author's note I have a plausible excuse for not updating quickly. No Internet. I have just recently moved and there has been constant problems and arguments over what kind of net service I can get and cost and this and that. Well finally, I do have my old Internet back and I'll be able to update quickly and efficiently. It's been a long time coming believe me and I'm back and ready for action. Thanks everyone for hanging in there with me. I know it's been tough but I'm really trying to commit myself again to getting my work done. I'm so sorry, and thank you.

Nirvana

Do You Love Me

Oh  
Pick me, Pick me yea  
Live alone, lone single  
Atleast, atleast yea  
Everyone is hollow  
Pick me, pick me yea  
Everyone is waiting  
Pick me pick me yea  
You can be the baby  
hey  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
Kiss this, kiss that yea  
Live alone, lone single  
Atleast, atleast yea  
You could be my hero  
Pick me, pick me yea  
Everyone is waiting  
Hit me, hit me yea  
I'm real good at hitting  
hey  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive  
dive  
dive  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me  
dive in me 

Chapter 5

"This is..." Sango's voice seemed to falter as she took a look around the apartment. It's rather small with dirty laundry whisked about the floor, dishes overflowing from the sink, and unkempt furniture. It was a strange and unusual place for her to be. She wouldn't call herself an upscale girl but then again, perhaps she'd just been oblivious for all these years.

Miroku smiled at Sango's reaction to the place. "You don't have to say it Sango-- the place is I dump, I know."

_Good job!!! Just step on his heart why don't you. _"No! That's not what I meant at all. It's really great, cozy. I wish that I could—"

"Enough."

Though Miroku's voice sounded deep and serious he still had an awkward little smile on his face. "You didn't offend me. Don't lie to lie to yourself or to me. I accept the way things are. I don't need to feel better."

"Miroku." Her eyes were still glued to him. He had his little moments that made her question everything she knew. One moment he's the carefree idiot and another a serious deep thinker. _Who's the real Miroku? _she wondered.

"So what you like to eat? I can make Ramen or Ramen. Your choice."

Ignoring her previous thought about the split personality pervert she smiled and replied, "I think I'll take the Ramen in that case."

"Ah! Fabulous choice. You'll be glad you did. Take a seat in the kitchen while I cook some up."

Nodding, she sat down and let the mood and atmosphere sink in a little.

Having an understanding for what was probably running through her head he decided to not press at all and focus on cooking up the Ramen. He hummed gladly as he went to work.

"This place."

"Huh?" Miroku stopped working for a moment and looked over at her.

"It's not so bad. It's kind of comforting."

"Care to elaborate for me here while I cook?"

"It's not like my house. It doesn't feel so phony. Here it's like what you see is what you get. My house is..." her voice quieted as she worked up the strength to continue.

Miroku could see sense the anguish in her voice and was afraid to even venture for her to keep going. "Is everything—"?

"It's big and empty, Miroku!" Her hands gripped the tabletop firmly as she let go of her buried emotions. "It's nothing but a dwelling full of pain and emptiness. No one is ever there, even if father or Kohaku is there. They really aren't."

Struggling to find his voice Miroku had to take a deep breath for a moment. "I see."

"I hate it. I hate being alone like that. Everyone says they'll help but they never do. They just ignore me and tell me it's a phase. Tell me it's not, Miroku. Tell me it's not _just _a phase!"

Sango's distress was apparent. Miroku knew what had to be done he only hopped Sango would listen to him.

"Sango," he said quietly. "I won't abandon you. I can listen to you." He walked over to her and draped his arms tightly over her. "I won't ignore you."

"Tell me," she said, a small tear sliding down the side of her now pale face. "Why do you bother to even help me? What could it ever matter to you?"

"Because I am alone too."

_This is the real Miroku talking now. No more disguises no more lies. This is him. _

"What do you mean?"

His grip tightened as his voice rasped, "I'm alone too. I know how it feels. My parents died when I was a child. Mushin tried, but he didn't know how to be a parent to me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?"

"I didn't mean to bring up so much pain for you. I know how that feels. I hate the pain."

_It'll be okay. I promise I'll make it better, Sango. _"Do you hate pain so much so that you wanted to escape it ultimately?"

"Sometimes." Her throat felt dry and thought it would close up on her soon.

"You'll never escape it that way. If you do die then it won. Face it, who ever wants to be the loser?"

She choked over her own voice and the realization of what he'd just said. "I—"She couldn't speak anymore and the tears flooded out, her liquid sadness spilling over the table.

He stroked her hair calmly as she continued to cry. They didn't need to say anything. What could be said? Miroku wanted only to comfort her, and Sango only sought a loving embrace, just a little attention thrown her way that wasn't all negative.

The way Miroku's arms felt around her only had made Sango want to cry more. Miroku had done everything for her. All he wanted was to see her happy.  
What did he want though? At the end of the day what was it that he would ask for over anything else in the world. She really didn't know. Really, she didn't know all that much about him yet. Besides the fact at he felt a lot like her, alone in the world, searching for something. How was it the two were so alike and so very different?  
Miroku had pondered that question himself many times late at night when he couldn't sleep and school would be fast approaching. He'd tell himself that he didn't know and that's what gave him a purpose. The actual search of what it was he wanted. 

He knew though. Inside we all know what it is that we want. Desire is a human emotion that all people feel.

_I want to mean something, _he thought as his embrace tightened over the sobbing girl. _I want value and this girl sees value in me. Maybe I'm worth more than just a pretty face._

"Sango?" his voice questioned uneasily.

Her voice cracked as she tried to speak. "Yeah?"

"I think I burnt the Ramen."

It was a true statement as the smell rose up in the air. How long had they been like that? Just holding each other. Must have been a long time, too long. Lunch was ruined.

"S-sorry," she said uneasily. "I was just feeling so upset."

"You're more important than Ramen, you know. Don't worry so much." He had reluctantly enough let go of the girl and tended to the job of salvaging their meal. As he was doing so he had a smile fixated on his face and that had relieved Sango.

_He can be so carefree about a lot of things. I'm glad he's not mad at me. _

"There you go!" He put on the table a very steaming hot plate of Ramen for the two them to share.

The puffy red face Sango had had before was replaced now be a clearer looking resolve and warm smile. "It looks great."

"Well, cooking isn't exactly the strong suit I'm known for, but I do what I can."

"I think you do fine at it." She started getting at the noodles with her chopsticks.

_You probably won't think that way after you try it first. _Most people would say that there's no conceivable way to screw up cooking Ramen, but Miroku was good at the inconceivable.

She took a bite and her face remained neutral as she took several more bites of the noodle dish.

"Oh, wow, so you can actually eat it. I'm really relieved."

"Yeah well, my dad could never cook very well so eating poorly made foods doesn't bother me." There was an awkward silence as it hit Sango that what she just said. "Not that you can't cook. I mean, it's Ramen!"

He chuckled as he took another bite of it as well. _Yeah, just Ramen. If only life were a bowl of Ramen. How much simpler things could be... _

"Miroku?" she asked rather suddenly.

"Hmmm?" He looked over at her, a Ramen noodle dangling form his mouth.

"Can I ask why you're going out of your way to help me like this? It's above and beyond the call of any friend..." she just trailed off after that, hoping Miroku got the picture.

_Should have figured this would come up eventually, damn. What do I say to her? _He opened his mouth and closed it again. He didn't know.

"Wrong question?" she dared to venture.

"Your nature is so calm and relieving. I find myself always happy and excited around you, even when you're sad. I feel like I'm the only one who can ever dry your tears."

That had jumbled up Sango's feelings considerably. _He really feels that way about me? I can't even believe it. _

Miroku knew he had taken a bold step but he'd keep treading further. "When I'm with you I feel special and needed. Do you need me like the way I need you, Sango?"

"I don't—"

He reached across the table and pressed his finger delicately across her lips. "Tell me the truth and don't hold back."

She struggled to draw in a breath as Miroku's close presence left her and he drew back into his seat. "You're the only one who listens and ever seems to care. No one ever seems to just care..."

The young boyish features in Miroku's face softened as he looked across the table. Sitting there was just a delicate figure, one that seemed as though you could always look but never touch; the finest line possible.

Carefully, he got up from his chair and walked over to her. If Sango noticed she didn't seem to care, for she was in her own head.

His hand gently glided across her face bringing her back to reality. The feeling of the caress was making Sango feel rather flush.

"Let's go into the main room or something. Or are you still hungry?"

She just shook her head; words were miles away at the moment as her hand went up to touch her face.

"Okay." He hoisted her up from the chair and led her back into the room with the entryway. There was a beaten up couch the two of them could sit on. He led her over there and let her sink into it.

"It's nice," she smiled up at him.

_Heh, you're always giving the compliments, Sango. _"Well, it's something." He sat down a relatively safe distance next to her.

"I like it though, really. I could just drown in it." She closed her eyes and let herself lean back into Miroku's lap.

The sudden close content made Miroku blush mildly, and he quickly hid his face from view of Sango. After all, he was a ladies man; he didn't blush and swoon over girls like this ever.

She reached her hand up to his face and gave him a modest and concerned smile. "What's up?"

He smiled back, wanting to be reassuring. "Nothing."

"That's good. After everything you've done for me I'd hate to be a burden to you now."

"You're not a burden," he sighed. "You really shouldn't think like that."

"It's true though. I'm no good to anyone."

_There she goes again... _"Who ever told you that?"

"No one ever needed to tell me!" she got defensive. "If I were worth anything then someone would pay attention to me, love me."

Instinctively Miroku wrapped his arms tightly under Sango. His warm breath bristled her neck as he spoke. "Sometimes people forget how to love, and you have to give them a chance. Just like you gave me."

"I-I guess..."

He kissed the top of her head and smiled. "Just relax now. I'll take care of you."

"Yeah." She exhaled and closed her eyes, letting herself relax. _I know you will. _

Miroku's fingers twitched as he fought with his inner conscious over the situation. "Must. Not. Grope." He let out a gasp as Sango unconsciously moved her head against his lap.

Lord, you're far too cruel... 

Taking in a ragged breath he let himself relax and sink into the sofa. Luckily for him Sango had stopped moving and expansion did not take place, though his cheeks were plenty red.

Putting his head down he kissed the top of Sango's head and smiled. "Don't expect me to be on my best behavior next time."

With that his own eyes shut and his mind was brought into a comfortable state of unconsciousness. Sleeping was good for that, always. When you're asleep reality can't haunt you and the nightmares are never real, not like life.

The hours passed quietly and neither of the two stirred. They both were in a deep state of relaxation that their bodies craved so desperately. It would only last for so long though, and Miroku was the first to awake.

A crisp and cool feeling ran through his spine making him shiver. It had gotten a lot cooler in the room. His hands felt cold and heavy, not having much feeling in them. "Sango," he rasped. "Are you awake?"

The mop of hair resting on his lap made a soft noise of discontent. "No."

"Heh, well you may want to wake up some time soon." He took a quick glance at the wall clock. "It's already 5:00pm. Shouldn't you get going?"

She groaned. "Damn, you're serious?"

"Yeah."

Seething under her breath she reluctantly hoisted up her head and smoothed out her hair. Her petite fingers ran over her face in attempts to revitalize herself.

Miroku grinned at this. "Still sleepy, huh?"

Yawning she replied, "Always." Standing up she walked over to the door and slipped her shoes back on. "I'd like to stay longer, but I'm afraid there's some doom to be had at home that I must go and face."

"I understand. Let me go with you then." He sat up and motioned for the door.

Sango just looked deliberately at him for a moment. "Well, if you really insist you can walk me home."

"Good, because it wasn't an offer." He grabbed her by the arm and whisked her out the door.

..._Wasn't going on? Did I just let him whisk me away again? It's funny; I always thought I was okay on my own. Am I? _

"Zoning out again?"

"Huh?" She was quickly stirred from her thoughts. "I'm sorry, but you surprised me back there."

Even though Sango hadn't intended it to be, that was a big ego boost to Miroku. "I'm full of surprises, Sango. Stick around me a little more, and I'll show you all sorts of things." He winked in his usual mischievous and perverted way.

On the inside Sango felt flush and on fire, but she refused to give Miroku the satisfaction. "How can you be so perverted at times and sincere others?"

He shrugged, not giving it much thought. "Just one of those many talents of mine, babe."

Her eyebrow twitched as she felt a hand move across her ass. "Remove it before I break it. I'm not "your" babe, as you say."

"Oh? And here I thought you liked me after everything we've gone through."

She knew she was beat, but she pressed forward. "I was vulnerable and am thankful for your help. Nothing more."

_Heh, I shouldn't have expected much more from her, but we'll see if we can't change the circumstances later on. _He complied and reluctantly moved his hand. "Whatever you say."

"Good," she huffed.

Temptation lingered to say something more to her, but he decided against it. _I already said enough. I'll just let her stew in everything for a while. _

They thusly walked briskly beside one another, both of them not uttering a single sound or sentence to the other. The day could easily be called argues, and it wasn't even over yet. Sango still had her family to face when she got home. While Miroku was going to be busy trying to smooth things out with Mushin when he'd receive the call that he hadn't shown up at school and was in extreme jeopardy there.

Not much to look forward to at all...

And as soon as the walk had begun it had ended. It took Sango only a second to register that she was already home. _Wow, that was fast. Home already...joy _

"That your place then?" Miroku had taken the hint after he didn't hear Sango shuffling alongside him.

"Yes."

"That's too bad. I had hoped you lived farther."

"Heh. You wish, pervert."

The evil grin of his grew. "Yes."

Her hand had a twinge in the urge to hit him but that face he made was just too damn cute for her to hit...for now. "All good things must come to an end, I suppose."

"Shame. You were such a good thing too."

"Okay... Well, thanks for everything, but I don't want to hear any more cheap lines. I'm going." She didn't even send him a second glance and turned around.

_No! _

Quickly his hand reached out and grabbed her wrist.

Shocked, Sango looked back at him. "What are you—"?

"I'm sorry," he said quickly and evenly, "but-"and his lips plunged softly over hers. "That's payback for taking care of you today."

The pleasantness of Miroku's kiss overpowered Sango's fierce range and before she could react and hit him the little pervert had run off. Calling a long "thankyouuuuuu," as he ran.

"That guy," she sighed. "H-how did I ever meet such a weirdo?" She of course didn't want to admit to herself how alive she felt that day or how completely amazing a little kiss made her.

End of chapter

Miss me guys!? Heh, I know it's been a LOOOOOOOONG time coming, but I can't even explain to you how complicated things in my life have gotten. I wanted to write like another 5 pages but then I was like, "Fuck!" Because then I knew it'd be another 3 months before I'd ever right that much for one chapter again. Well, hopefully not, but I'm going to try and start making up for my absence. I'm so sorry I can't even tell you. Well, on to the reviewer thank yous.

Small-buttercup- It was really good to hear from you, and I'm sorry it's taken me soooooo long to update. Do forgive me, please!

KaT aka Mistress Shinigami Yeah the computer is stupid. kicks it sorry about not being able to update soon.

Chocolatechipp dear god it's been so long. You either went insane or killed yourself or you're still waiting and if that's the case I hope this fulfills you.

Lar-lar- Always so nice to me, I appreciate that. Don't get too fed up with me yet.

Nessa- Sorry if I disappointed on the whole Miroku's apartment thing, but I promise some more action soon.

Rissi-Sama- Well, you're probably disappointed in the length of this chapter but fuck, you get what you get, ya know? But glad that you rated it so high!

Katrina5- Thank you, that was a very lovely thing to say. I appreciate it greatly.

Inu-shounen- As always, a treat and totally amazing to hear from you. Now you gotta get to work on your story nudges

Aamalie- Don't worry about the beta thing, no big deal. My grammar sucks all the time anyways. You can ask my English teacher, he'd tell you. ;

Backsplash007- You give me too much credit, but I'm really going to try my best for you guys, and I'm so sorry to disappoint you.

LuClipse85- Heh, believe me, the trademark scenes are my pleasure, really. I love perverts. (Probably because my friends are all ones)

Fanfictiongeek36- Hold unto the perverted thoughts for a while. I will deliver action, no worries!

Brett- I'll dry my damn best. Thank you.

AND MOTHER FUCKING THANK YOU ALL SO DAMN MUCH FOR STILL STICKING WITH ME!!! I PROMISE I WILL FINISH THIS STORY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, EVEN IF IT **KILLS** ME!!!

Love ya guys!!! hugs and kisses, see you all soon

Till then,

Zero


	6. Gone Daddy Gone

Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.

Dialog- "Meep meep meep."

Thoughts- _Are in italics. _

Author's Note- Hey guys! Not much to tell you besides that I've been very busy with the end of the trimester at school and a hectic social life. It all leads to problems with writing. I apologize. Heh heh, everyone was really understanding about my reasons for not updating earlier, and I'm thankful for that. I appreciate it very much! thanks guys! You all kick ass!

Junction 18

We Want It All

Oh how hope has died  
I am just feeding on white lies  
And when the dawn breaks to the sky  
I'll be the one to melt with time  
How heaven hurts  
Sometimes it sucks you dry and leaves you numb  
And left for dumb  
And where to run?  
These tears have ran far enough to touch the sun  
And I want it all...

Falling in two  
I'm falling in two  
We are lost in space without a trace  
And it feels so cold  
And it feels so cold  
That I cannot pick myself up off the ground  
And this trail of bones lingers on

No one wants to hear  
No one wants to see a child they raised to be a failure  
But for now, let me get this game straight  
Let me strap on this fake face  
You'll watch me win it all  
Then watch me fall

Falling in two  
I'm falling in two  
Happiness fought hard with a backfire  
Can it be so wrong?

Chapter 6

The early happenings of the day slowly faded away in Sango's mind as she found herself sitting quietly at the dinner table. She hadn't been listening to the conversation but all eyes were on her now.

"What?" she asked in a confused manner.

"Did you hear what I've been saying at all to you, Sango?" Her father's eyes were intensely focused on her, frustrated and slightly enraged.

She drew in a breath but nothing came out. A feeling of unease and self-doubt over took her, and she couldn't speak. "I—"

"It's fine, Sango." Kaori's hand reached gently across the table and unto Sango's. "We're just worried."

Cringing slightly Sango nodded and withdrew her hand from Kaori's but not without some reluctance.

"Heh, well, that's a bit of an understatement. I'm not going to put this to you lightly. Your behavior is out of control, and we're not going to stand for this anymore. I want you to see a therapist or a physiatrist. Someone to get inside that damn head of yours!"

Tears threatened and stung Sango's eyes, but she remained firm and resilient. "You… You don't understand anything!" she yelled, getting up from her seat with a start.

"How can I when you don't tell me anything?" Tatsuya sprang up as well.

"You're ignorant and only hear what you want to hear. You have no idea what's going on in my life."

Tatsuya looked stunned and his face grew downcast. "That's…"

No one else dared say anything in his moment of weakness, but Sango wouldn't let it slip. He'd said so many hurtful things. It was her time now to tell him what she thought of everything. The conflict that would ensue no longer mattered.

"That's true," she shouted. "It's all true! The only time you care is when something goes wrong. Well, let me tell you everything has been wrong for a long time." Her voice croaked; she couldn't continue.

"Sango, that's enough. It's enough!"

All eyes turned to a very upset looking Kohaku. It had taken everyone by surprise that he'd spoken up like that.

"Just stop it already, both of you. We can't ever act like a family if all we do is scream and hate each other. I realize there are problems between us but this isn't necessary. It's wrong."

_He's right, _Sango thought, _but I'm not going to let this go. _"Kohaku," Sango gave her brother a very sincere look, "I'm sorry this had to be so hard on you. You're right, and you don't deserve this."

Kohaku nodded, a sense of relief flooding him. "Th-thank you. That's all I wanted."

"I know." She smiled at her little brother. "However, I won't let this go. Not this time."

"Sango?" Kaori questioned uneasily. The night was already such a disaster. It terrified her that things were going to potentially get worse.

Her body shook as she spoke, but it had been repressed too long. "Fuck this! Seriously, just fuck this all. Don't act like you care after everything that's happened. Even Kaori tries harder than you do. I don't want anything from you anymore. I'm too independent now to just let you back into my life. You blew it."

Tatsuya looked like he had taken a full-blown body shot. His throat was closed up and was unable to utter anything.

"Stop, right now." Kaori had risen from her chair and placed a hand shakily on Sango's shoulder. The situation had stunned her. "Please, don't fight."

Even though Sango knew how frantic Kaori felt she couldn't stop for anything now. "I'm sorry," she whispered quietly. "Take your hand off me though. I don't want your help or anyone else's."

"No more." A hard slap came pounding down over Sango's face. Her father delivered a strong blow. His eyes were ablaze, a weak frown on his face. "You can't just say all these things to people. All you do is point fingers and take no responsibility for yourself. Who do you think you are?"

"Tatsuya, Sango, stop this. Please!" Kaori was just about shrieking now.

It had taken a moment for Tatsuya to realize what he'd done and looked at Sango with a heavy sense of guilt and grief. "I'm very sorry… Are you going to be okay? Does it hurt bad?"

Her hand gently flew to the side of her cheek, trying to ease the pain. "Your words hurt me more than this ever could. Just leave me alone." She abruptly left and ran up to her room.

"That was… bad," as Tatsuya put it gently.

A collective silence distilled through the kitchen when the sound of a slamming door could be heard from upstairs and the thoughts of what happened only begun to sink in.

All looks were drawn over at Tatsuya, but he did nothing more than sit back down and looked thoughtfully at his food. _What have I done? _His thoughts would remain grim for the rest of the dinner.

"Fuck you!" a hard fist connected with the wall leaving a small mark and a soon to be visible bruise on Sango's knuckle. _H-how dare he hit me? He's never hit me… it hurts…my heart is aching. Miroku, you should have let me die. _

She closed her eyes tightly and curled into a ball on her bed. Her body shook from her quiet sobs-each one racking her more violently.

"Please," she whispered, "just let me die."

Miroku yawned as he walked into the door of his apartment and abruptly threw his jacket over the couch and sat down. "Mushin," he called, "I'm home."

"In the kitchen, Miroku, we need to talk." His voice was stale and crisp, this worried Miroku slightly.

"Right." He was able to will his body to move again and staggered into the kitchen. "Yeah?"

Mushin's eyes looked up to him from the table. His face was rather somber, if not a bit troubled. "Sit down, all right." It was a command over a request.

_Shit, _his mind raced, _Mushin must have gotten that call from the school. I haven't seen him this upset in a long time. _He did as he was asked and sat down. "What's up?"

_That's what I want to know. _"Why don't you tell me and give yourself a strong alibi before I say anything."

"I've got nothing. No excuses."

"Then why?" Mushin sighed. "Why all of this? I thought things were going better."

He shook his head. "No, they haven't. I didn't want you to worry. If you stayed out of things I figured we'd both be better off."

"Well, Miroku, tell me who is better off now? You've skipped school countless times, you get no sleep, as far as I know you don't eat, and you may not graduate."

_Fuck, I know, I know, but I can't help it. What do you want me to do? What I can I do? _His eyes looked back and pleaded with Mushin.

"Things are going to change…I wanted to let you take care of your own affairs, but you prove to be irresponsible time and time again."

That hit hard. His heart fell twenty feet and his blood pressure skyrocketed. "That's not-"

"Let me finish," he said sternly. "I know you want to be an adult and be independent, but you can't do everything yourself. This is proof enough."

_This isn't what I want. This isn't right. _"No! Damnit, no, Mushin! You can't say."

"Can't I? What is there to make me believe otherwise?"

His hand clenched tightly at his side. "You don't understand the situation. My independence is all that I have. If you take away my freedom you take everything. I thought you understood."

Mushin toyed with his words carefully. Miroku could be difficult to talk to. "I do, but I want you to keep your freedom. Graduating and going to a good school is part of that. You aren't seeing the big picture."

"I don't…" He took a moment to gather his thoughts. What he had to say wouldn't please Mushin. "I don't know if a want to go to a good school, to any school."

An explosion had gone of in Mushin and his face exploded bright red. "I can't talk to you when you're being this insensible. Go."

"Go? Where? Or you don't even care, do you?" His voice hinged with anger and traces of confusion.

"Just don't let me see you your face until tonight. I need to think."

Miroku sighed and nodded. "I knew you wouldn't understand. And don't worry… You won't have to see me anymore," he said, barely above a whisper.

The door abruptly slammed shut, and Mushin was left with an empty room and a small hole in his heart. A rip that started out so small but now felt like it was engulfing him. _Please be safe, Miroku. I hope maybe you can understand one day. Though you'd never believe this is for your sake, not mine. _

"Fuck!" he nearly screamed. _Fuck, fuck, fuck… _His heart in turmoil, Miroku took to the streets. The memory of Sango's house was still fresh in his mind.

_I wonder if… _"No," he shook his head. "I'd never allow myself to be that much of a burden to her." _But I…_

His feet did the rest. He wasn't in control anymore and allowed his legs to take him to sanctuary.

It wasn't that he wanted to depend on Sango to ease his troubles away, but a strong sense of need and desire to see her overtook his senses. The feeling was unfamiliar and alienating for so long he had taken care of his own affairs and now there was a person in his life whom he felt like he could bore his soul to.

His mind, being as fogged as it was, didn't register the fact his legs had stopped. He looked at the house in front of him and took a deep haggard breath. _This is it. _He squinted and rapped lightly at the door.

An initial shock of the door opening abruptly and the ghastly face before him quickly wore off. It was a woman, middle aged, with puffy red eyes.

_Tears, _Miroku thought sadly. _Why do such beautiful women cry so many tears? _Forcing himself to speak, he said, "Is Sango here? It's imperative that I speak with her. Is that possible?"

Her chest rose as if to speak, but slipped past her lips quickly. She turned her head away a moment and batted her eyes, blotting out the tears. Attempting to speak her voice cracked slightly, but she managed, "She's…up in her room but is quite upset. Now isn't the best time."

Miroku wanted to be more sympathetic to her plight, but his mind was too clouded with empathy for Sango and her pain. "Please," he said in a quiet whisper.

The young man's sincerity seemed genuine and she nodded slowly. "All right, but please make it quick."

Not wanting to cause the poor woman any more pain he quietly slipped past her, his hand lingered gently on her shoulder. He offered his dashing and radiant smile. "I will take care of Sango."

Kaori stood awestruck at the boy's gentleness and consuming presence, but he was already up the stairwell by the time the door shut and she could only just now register the words she wanted to speak. Shaking her head she slumped down next to Tatsuya on the sofa.

"Who was that?" Tatsuya asked in a distracted tone, scowling slightly. He didn't like the idea of someone going to disturb his daughter.

"Sango's friend?" her words spoken in an unbelieving tone, trying to first convince herself. _And quite possibly her savior._

A low murmur of a growl was all that registered from Tatsuya.

Miroku, already having ventured upstairs, didn't have to guess which room was Sango's. He could hear the soft sound of her choking sobs behind the far away door. He approached tentatively and knocked. "Sango?"

The sobs halted and a roaring voice erupted from behind the door. "Leave me the hell alone!"

_Of course. _Miroku chastised himself mentally. He tried again, "Sango, it's me, Miroku, please let me in."

In a whoosh the door swung open and Miroku was haphazardly drawn into Sango's lair, the door banging loudly behind him.

"Um…Sango?" Miroku inquired meekly.

"S-sorry. I'm just—"

A comforting hand enveloped Sango's. "Just what?"

Sango could only helplessly stare into Miroku's enchanting brown eyes, warmth dancing within their depths. Her honest emotions won out over her barriers. "I'm just so fucked up." She collapsed into his chest and squeezed him tightly as the tears started pouring out unchecked.

Having Sango's soft pert breasts rubbing up against his chest momentarily immobilized him but his mind knew better than to listen to his body. "S-sango." He willed his arms to wrap lightly around her and lull her deeper into his chest. _Just focus, Sango needs comfort, not some horny guy wanting to sex her up._

His breath tickled her ear as he spoke softly to her, "Everything is going to be just fine, Sango. Have faith. Besides, no matter what, you'll always have me." Miroku's hand arbitrarily started stroking her silken black hair.

"Will I?" Her voice was barely over a whisper and her eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

"Yes," he choked, "always." He crushed her deeper into his chest and held her as though she'd be violently ripped from his embrace. _I don't know what it is about you, Sango, but I feel like I have to protect such a gentle and vulnerable soul. I won't let you go until you don't need me anymore._

_He needs this too_, she thought, grasping back almost as tight as Miroku. "Thank you." _I can't ever repay you for your kindness, but I'll be sure to be around long enough to try. _

"Our emotions are like a river, Sango. We freeze over our hearts with a barrier, like ice, and try to cross the raging river, the ice as our false sense of security. Then, the ice breaks, and we find ourselves drowning and struggling in the raging waters. The barrier we had created traps us under it with no escape. It's incredibly terrifying thinking you have control when really you're in too deep to even save yourself. Don't do that, Sango. Get out before the depths devour you."

Sango was shocked at the profound statement but could also understand its meaning. "You've been hurt greatly, haven't you?"

Miroku nodded solemnly, he was not entirely comfortable where the conversation was headed. "Yes."

"I'm sorry. You seem like a tender soul; you shouldn't have had to experience such overwhelming pain."

"Despair doesn't care who you are. Don't dwell on your mistakes, just improve."

_Oh yeah, this comes from experience._ "I'll…I'll try."

"It's all we can ever do." He smiled his big gorgeous smile and hoped it would be enough to reassure her. "Will you be okay?"

Fear initially struck Sango. "You're leaving," she nearly screeched.

He sighed and nodded dejectedly. "Unfortunately I need to go back home and make things right. I was a bit frustrated and did something I regret. I need to make it right."

"You're very strong. I wish I could face my father." _I'm such a coward._

Sensing what Sango was getting at he quickly detoured her from such negative thoughts. "It's not strength so much as it is humility. He was right and I didn't want to face that. To be a strong person is to talk to someone even when you want to tear out their throat, when they've hurt you, not to run away. I ran. You though, you have a chance. You're father is right downstairs, I'm sure, more than willing to talk."

She cringed at the word 'father.' "And if I don't really feel like talking to him?"

"That will always be your choice, Sango. I just hope it won't be your regret either. If you make things right now, it isn't going to be as difficult as it'd be later."

"This coming from experience again?"

A grin tweaked his lips, and he appeared rather sheepish. "I'm no angel and don't ever let me tell you so. I've made my mistakes, and they've been rectified."

That was certainly a hard truth Sango had to come to terms with-mistakes, regrets, and the repercussions of those actions. "Yes, I understand," her voice was tight and barely controlled.

Not wanting to say good-bye, Miroku embraced Sango tightly and gave her a soft kiss on her pouted lips. He whispered hoarsely into her ear, "I do have faith in you." He abruptly stood up and crept to the door.

Sango felt overwhelmed and confused at everything that just happened in such a short amount of time. Now, her savior was leaving her. She was beginning to feel terribly lost again.

"It's okay," he smiled. "Really. Remember, you'll always have me." The door closed softly, and Miroku vanished.

Taking a deep breath she laid herself down on her bed and looked up dimly at her ceiling. A variety of complex emotions were all hitting her at once. She didn't know whether to scream in frustration or cry in rejoice.

There was a rap at the door, but she knew better than to believe it was Miroku. _Am I really ready for this confrontation? Maybe… But avoiding it can't make it better. _"Come in," was the soft reply.

The door opened and…it wasn't whom Sango had been expecting. "Kaori," she struggled, visibly confused.

"May I sit?" asked the soft voice.

End of chapter

WOW- Okay, so I haven't wrote anything in ages. God, I can't even begin to explain the complications going on right now in my life. I wouldn't even want anyone to be able to understand. All in all, I haven't had the time and the emotional stamina nor enthusiasm to write anything half ways decent that I'd want to share with anyone. Please forgive me. God. I promise though, if you want me to, I'll still finish this story…and not in like another two years. I've been finding my muse as of late. And if you're really lucky I'll try to update sometime just after the Fourth of July weekend. Please have faith. And thank you to everyone. My reviewers are absolutely terrific. God bless.

Lar-lar- I'm very relieved that the last chapter was satisfying enough for you. As one of my most loyal reviewers I'd hate to hear you were disappointed.

Rissi- You're the best. Always.

Hayia Hakai- Aren't we always the charmer? Ha ha. Thanks so much!

Chocolatechipp- I do so hope you're alive. I know you said to update soon but gods I think I was actually dead there for a while. Here's hoping you actually read this.

Nessa03- Unfortunately the internet isn't my problem right now but hopefully I'll get back to my old update speeds….much much faster than this. Thanks for the support.

Luclipse85- I love a person who's so forgiving and so damn complimentive, geeze! Wow, you make me feel especially appreciated and I hope this is enough to satisfy you until I can get myself working full time again on this story.

Xichiathik- Gah, you're so incredibly nice! Thanks.

BaByXbOoX143- You poor thing…this has been a long time coming for you. Thanks for the support.

Personification of Fluff- no, thank you, for the compliment! I'm glad I could make someone's day.

NeeandNii- Ha ha, yeah it kinda is wussy but what can I say, it's what I'm good at. Thanks for the review.

Blueeyedblackwolf- I swear you reviewers are out to make me feel like the worst piece of shit writer ever. I feel terrible that I wasn't able to deliver. Please accept this e-hug as an apology huggles

Silent Fairy- Thanks a lot for the review and I'm glad that you find it to be pleasing.

Inushounen- I must be picking up on your poor updating habits, god! Thanks though bud. You and me will keep up on the slow but sure work.

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR STICKING BY ME! YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE AND KICK ASS REVIEWERS. PLEAE STAY WITH ME AND HAVE FAITH. I SHALL DELIVER!

Always,

Zero.


	7. My Happy Ending?

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha or any related characters.

Dialogue- "Meep meep meep."

Thoughts- _are in italics_

Author's note- Yes, I'm back, and it's not an illusion, yet another chapter of my story is up and it's been less than nine months. Can I get applause from the reviewers? Ha ha, okay, seriously though, everyone has been very supportive of me, and I appreciate it whole-heartedly. I can't begin to describe my thanks. I'll do my best to continue dutifully updating.

Chapter 7

The Suicide Machines

Someone

Oh Yeah  
i've been running all my life and i face the world alone  
when i'm around some people, i wish they'd just go home.  
i just don't get it is there something wrong with me?  
if i look inside, maybe then i'll see that

i'm looking for someone yeah  
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do  
i'm looking for someone yeah  
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do

i've learned to disappear and i've learned to hide my pain  
in a fucked-up world where there's too much hate  
i just don't get it is there something wrong with me?  
if i look inside maybe then i'll see that

i'm looking for someone yeah  
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do  
i'm looking for someone yeah  
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do

well i think i've gotta find a better way  
i think i've got to find a way to make them stay,  
cause everybody's leaving all the time  
everybody's leaving and i don't know why, yeah

balance is the key but i take it to extremes  
i can think of all the ways but i can't find the means  
when the world dictates i'll never get what i need  
if i open up my eyes maybe i'll see that

i'm looking for someone, yeah  
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do  
i'm looking for someone, yeah  
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do

feels like i do  
feels like i do  
oh yeah

It was a simple and sincere question that Kaori had voiced but for the life of her Sango couldn't yield to a proper response. A million thoughts and feelings bombarded her senses, but she opted for the initial reaction. "Please," her voice was faint and soft, needful.

Kaori was more than happy to comply with the young woman she'd been trying to reach for so long, with little to show for her effort. "Of course." She sat down and her hand twitched unintentionally; she really wanted to touch and reassure Sango but was afraid what reactions would be warranted. "Can I?" She bit her lip and looked horribly uncertain.

The un-asked question hung miserably in the air. Sango was rather adverse to people touching her, but her heart surged forward and she yearned for that tender care. "Yes."

As soon as the word was uttered Kaori's arms flung around Sango's shoulders bringing her into a tight clinch. Her arms fit perfectly around the younger girl and her hand snaked behind her neck to stroke Sango's hair in a soothing manner. "Shhh," she cooed. "Everything is going to be fine."

In a desperate attempt to make her feelings known Sango uttered the truest sentiment to her heart. "I'm scared, and I want my mother right now. Is that all right?"

A deep breath was exhaled from Kaori as she hugged the girl closer to her. "Of course it's all right, Sango."

"Then why does my father make me feel like I'm being childish and needy?"

"Because your father is hurting too, he tries to suppress his feelings and ignore what's right in front of him."

"What should I do?"

"Tell him how you truly feel."

"I don't know that I can."

"Try. You have to. It's the only way this is going to get any better."

"Then why do I feel like I'd be breaking his heart by telling him how angry I am with him? He's hurt me so much, but I can't totally express my rage towards him."

Kaori sighed and loosened her vice grip over Sango, examining her closely. She spoke softly, "It's always easy to be upset with those we love because we know they'll always love us. Trust me, Sango; your father won't disown you for being honest with him. He needs to hear the truth and no matter what he'll still love you."

She shook her head violently. "No! He hurt me today, struck me… Who's to say he won't do that again?"

"That's something he'll have to ask your forgiveness for, but I don't think he honestly meant it. He's at the end of his wit, Sango. The only way to resolve this is to speak with him about this matter."

"Should I forgive him?"

"That's your choice, and you know I'm biased on the subject."

"None of this was how it was ever supposed to be. I can't ever imagine I'd have to go through any of this. I wake up some days and just hope everything up till now has just been a nightmare, that one day I'll just wake up."

The patience Kaori had for the girl was beginning to grow thin, but she wore the face of a strong matriarch and gave Sango a hard shake. "Wake up now, Sango. This _is _reality, and you _do _need to face your unresolved issues with your father if things are to ever get better. You have to take the first step now if you're ever going to have the future you desire."

She spoke a small octave above a whisper, "And if I'm afraid that I cant do it?"

"I'll be right here for you." She gave her hand a small squeeze.

"You won't leave?" she questioned.

Kaori smiled a little, happy to see Sango trusting her more. "Never. I'll be right here."

Sango let out a slow easy breath, feeling more self-assured than she had in years. "Yes, okay, then I'm ready."

"Good. I'll send him up." She got up off the bed and made her way to the door, stopping when she heard Sango say something. "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch that."

"Thank you. You've been more of a parent to me than anyone has been in years."

The room got silent, and Kaori went rigid, her body stiff and uncomfortable. "Sango, I'm not trying to justify what you're father has done… Give him the chance to do better. He can't take away the years of hurt, but it doesn't have to continue this way either."

_If I could only believe that Kaori… Oh, how I want to believe that. _"All right," she squeaked.

It was easy for Kaori to acknowledge that Sango was still unsure about her feelings, but at least she hadn't totally disclosed the idea. "I'll get your father."

She closed the door and sighed as she milled down the stairs, lost in an unconscious stream of thought. _Tatsuya, I hope you're ready, for you're in the fight of your life, trying to get through to that girl. It's funny how stubborn the both of you are. You're so alike, but you can't even recognize each other's similarities if out of fear as a way to bring you close. I sincerely hope both of you stop running. _

When she entered the living room she noticed Tatsuya sitting quietly on the couch, brooding, his eyes plastered to the coffee table, out of focus and dazed.

There was a sharp coughing noise at the other side of the room and his brain snapped instantly, his eyes following Kaori's lone profile. "She won't come down?"

"I think it's best you went upstairs and talked with her just one-on-one, you and her. I can't mediate everything."

Tatsuya's stomach clenched, his uneasiness very visible. He gulped, "Yes, if you say so."

He stood up abruptly and moved to the staircase stopping to place a quick peck on Kaori's cheek. "Thanks."

A warm hand pressed gently against his cheek in a soothing manner, much like a mother to her child. "Don't thank me. It's only half the battle. You can't be afraid of your daughter. This is something you need to face."

"Yes," was his sole reply as he crept wearily up the stairs. _Am I really afraid of Sango? Is that what this is all about? Why should I have any reason to be scared of someone I care so much about? What is it about her that makes me want to run the other way? There are so many questions for which I have no answer. I really am a failure. Disgusting. _

The doorknob twisted gently, and Sango began shaking lightly with intimidation, resentment, and trepidation for her father.

Tatsuya stood numbly at the entrance of the door peering in only slightly. "May I come in?" He wanted to exude confidence but his voice was laced with too much hesitation.

No! She wanted to shout. _Walk out that door and never see me again_, she thought darkly. "If you must."

"Yes, you know I do. Let's please try to be civil about this." His anger was returning, quickly forgetting why he had any reason to be sorry in the first place. Fuming, he stalked over to the bed and sat at its corner.

"Civil? How dare you accuse me of treating you any less than you deserve. I didn't slap you just because I heard something I didn't like."

This hit Tatsuya in two very different ways. On the one hand, he could feel his hand twitching, ready to deliver another vengeful blow. Initially, his anger could get the best of him. After a moment his face wasn't so cross and a feeling of deep remorse and wretchedness filled him. "I don't know what to say. I should not have hit you. That is absolutely true. However, you don't respect yourself, Kaori, or me. It's that superiority bullshit that gets you into trouble."

"Do you see me as that self absorbed and conceited?" she shrieked. "I didn't spend years being reclusive and unavailable to my family when they needed me most!"

"And you're some god damn perfectionist?" His regret was short lived, quickly replaced by his momentarily detached anger.

Sango didn't take the bait. She was more outraged than she was hurt. "How the fuck would you even know? We've been avoiding each other and living our own lives since mom died. Since when have you amended for all your sins and suddenly want to lecture me? You go into yourself so far deep that your family feels abandoned and when you decide to come back, all of the sudden, you think you can start dictating lives. It's my life to live! It's typical, you tell me to take care of myself, but would you even know if I were? You just get absorbed in your job, Kaori, any distraction. It doesn't matter as long as it's not me. Do you honestly expect me to be well adjusted and have a stiff upper lip?"

An outburst of this magnitude warranted a long silence. Soon, the only sound heard was the quiet sobs that wracked Sango's fragile state. "It hurts. It hurts so god damn much. I can't even state it more eloquently than that. Why, daddy? Why? Wasn't I good enough? Didn't I hold any value to you compared to her?"

"Sango," he spoke wearily, in brittle words, "The last thing I could ever want is for you to think you have to compete with someone who is dead."

She shook her head feverishly, feeling a fresh stream of tears dribbling down her face. "Why don't you just admit you'd rather it be me who died than her. Loosing a child is horrible, but you'd have your support system, your spouse. You're stuck with me though." _It may not be for much longer though._

"There you go again making everything be about you. What about my suffering, my agony? I had a family to support. I wasn't ready to play super-dad. To be pushed into a roll you're not ready for is a frustrating thing. I made a bad decision, so what, I'm not Christ. Don't put me up on pedestal that I'll easy fall from. I'm sorry I was a bad father. I'm sorry I fucked up time and time again. Is that what you want to hear? Are you satisfied now?"

"I don't want you to be perfect," she rasped. "I want you to be my dad."

Tatsuya's face looked aghast for a brief moment. His self-pity was conflicting with his guilt. _What kind of role model am I being to Sango? It's a wonder she doesn't think I love her. _"I'm sorry," he stated slowly, quietly, as if testing the words for the first time. "I never meant to fail you as a father."

An arrant tear ran down her face as Sango glanced up at her father. "I'm not dead…. I still need you."

Instinct dictated that the best solution in this scenario was to gather up his daughter in his arms and reaffirm to her that he'd always be her father and that he was so very sorry.

He didn't.

Sango's vulnerability unnerved every sense of his very being and forboding memories of his wife dying returned to him. The scenario was so similar that it just began to feel surreal. Tatsuya wanted simply to blend into the background and let the scene pass him by rather than relive it, again.

_I can't do this_, he seethed silently, _I want to reach out and be her hero again, but I don't think I can anymore. I'm not any better of a person than I was before… How can I possibly be a better father to her now? _

_This is what I deserve_, chastised Sango to herself, _I let him in, let him know I care, and he's even further away from me. He doesn't want to change at all… nothing has changed. I'm too worthless for him to even try again. He's moved on. He says he needs me, but everyone is a liar. I lie to myself everytime I want to believe I don't need him, or my mother…Kaori… Miroku… _

"Miroku," she cried pathetically, "I need you! I need you…" Her frantic calls and tears were suffocated through the pillow she used to silence the noises and leave only the awkward silence of her rough breathing and sobs against fabric.

Tatsuya didn't need a cue to know it was time for him to leave. The damage was done. His inept ability to understand his daughter and give into fear had severed, quite possibly, the last link between the father and daughter. Leaving the room, he appeared stiff and awkward. He offered Kaori no explanation as he slipped quietly into his own bedroom closing the door mutely, albeit abruptly behind him, as if in warning to whomever dare enter.

"God damn," Kaori sighed, and nothing more was said.

Miroku continued to stare mindlessly up at the ceiling. He had been busy lying on his bed counting every little dot that he saw after having finished a six-pack of beer solely. Mushin had not been home, and Miroku wasn't going to make any real effort in finding out where he was. It's not that he didn't care, but he didn't really want to see him. The beer put him in a subdued mood where everything was spinning gently and there wasn't any sort of hurt to feel.

"Fuck," he said slowly to himself, enunciating each syllable. "What the fuck am I doing? Do I even know anymore? Do I care? Fuck… I don't think I do. And something must be wrong with me if I'm talking to myself. Yeah, I think I'm fucked up now, more so than usual, yeah, I'm really drunk and I'm wondering if Sango is thinking bout me. Sango, damn, what the fuck am I doing with her? And why can't I stop saying fuck?"

He laughed at this sentiment, the thought of Sango even thinking about him for more than a second and the fact that he was laughing at himself in an utterly pathetic state which is even more pathetic.

Lightly touching his hand to his face and rubbing it he smiled and exclaimed to himself excitedly, "I can't even feel my fucking face. I can't feel anything anymore. Is that what I wanted all along? I don't know anymore. I don't know what I'm doing or why. I act like I have all the answers and try to get Sango to confide in me when really I'm as fucked up as her, if not more. I'm just too fucked up."

He laughed even harder at this sentiment. "I'm just so god damn fucked up," he screamed. "And I don't even care," he whispered, "and that's the saddest part…" His careless laughter had transformed into full fledged sobs. Nothing made sense and all he could feel was dizziness and the discomfort it brought him. The feeling was familiar, but it wasn't something that comforted him anymore. No solace was found in the act of deluding the mind with alcohol.

"I just want…fuck… All I want is everything, I thought. But really, all I want is Sango. All I want is for it all to go away. Won't it all just go away?"

No clear answer came to Miroku as he wearily passed out, a bottle still clutched tightly in his hand and tears streaming down his face. This dampness did not disturb him from his slumber or the sound of a door creaking open.

Mushin looked over his adopted son and let out an exasperated sigh. "Why? Why do you do this to yourself, Miroku? Do you really hate yourself that much or is life really this horrible? I just don't know. I'm sorry I failed you." Though the confession was unheard Miroku eagerly wrapped himself in the blanket Mushin graciously placed over him. "Good night. I hope in your sleep nightmares won't plague you."

Real life was Miroku's plague though, not his subconscious.

End

So wow, I haven't updated in an assload of time. In fact, I haven't even been writing hardly at all. Don't even ask why. Things are so fucking complicated I don't wish to explain. In fact, I wrote the last two pages of this completely drunk off my ass if you can believe it. Yes, I'm just that great of a literary talent. No, just kidding, but with the facts being said about so many complication I'm afraid I wont be finishing this story. It's not something I even know how or want to finish right now. There are just so many things going on, too many things, and I don't want this to ever become a chore for me. Rather a labor of love, and really, it isn't that so much so anymore. I don't need fanfiction writing like I used to and I'm sorry I let everyone done with having not finished. You reviewers are the shit. Take care of yourself and have a merry fucking Christmas or whatever it is you all celebrate. Seasons greetings and all that jazz. This is my good bye.

Rissi- Thanks for everything. I know we're not close so much so anymore and I'm sorry for that. Take care of yourself and thanks for the constant encouragement.

Inu-shounen- He he, I'm glad we've been seeing more of eachother but as you damn well know I wont be writing fanfiction again, lol, but thanks for everything.

Lar-Lar- You were never inventive with reviews but one of the funnest to hear from. Thanks for everything, you were truly great and I loved hearing from ya. Sorry I couldn't finish this one and I hope you understand.

lilsanoku105- So you only gave me one review but it was totally cool. Have fun with sexing it up and thanks for that nice review.

Chocolatechipp- Please, don't go insane over this. Though, I understand how a piece of fiction can be. Just make something up, probably is better than anything I could ever come up with. Thanks for the devotion too.

MistressofHeaven- Thanks muchly, sorry I can't continue but I enjoy the compliments, truly. Thank you.

Brett- Sorry bud but thanks for the love.

LuClipse85- I'm so sorry I can't finish. I hope I haven't let you down and thanks for every kind word. You're amazing, truly. Keep writing.

Ali- I am usually sad but it's also usually okay. Unfortunately I just can't continue this. It requires a part of me that just isn't there anymore. Thanks very much though.

Blueeyedblackwolf- I don't remember anymore either, probably the alcohol or whatever but hey, thanks, and no worries, all is well. Glad you enjoyed what little of this you can. Thanks.

KanakaStorm- Lol Miroku is the shit!

CyborIdolMink- Sorry I can't finish it but you never know what can happen, feel free to imagine. Take care and thanks for the review.

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LEFT A REVIEW AND SUPPORTED ME THANKS A LOT!YOU GUYS ARE JUST REALLY GREAT AND I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES EVERYONE AND GOD BLESS. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS AND WHAT EVER ELSE YOU MAY CELEBRATE.

Always yours,

Zero…..

"I beg your pardon, but I never promised you a rose garden."


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